I can’t stand those people who feel the need to declare their undying love to their respective partners all over Facebook. I don’t care if you “Love my boiii so much, I can’t wait for bedtime tonight *INNAPROPRIATE WINK* *HEART*HEART*HEART* xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx”. Just so you know, your status update makes me want to kill myself.
Sorry, that wasn’t a very festive way to start a post on Christmas day was it? Let me try again….
I’m not really one for public displays of affection.
But it’s Christmas day and I’m feeling the love… and this festive day just so happens to mark exactly five years since I started seeing my boyfriend…
Now I could use this post to tell the tale about how our romance blossomed for months until he finally asked me out on Christmas day… only to then go and down a bottle of wine and had to get me to remind him what my answer was…
Or alternatively I could go on for pages telling you how funny he is, and how hot he looks when he’s playing the guitar…
But, my Scarlett hotties, we both know that these things do not a good post make…
So instead here is a small selection of some of the ridiculous things he’s said to me in the last few weeks:
“I’ve not shaved for three weeks – I can’t wait til I can whip my beard back and forth.”
“Oh yeah about that… I was just testing the glass *long pause* it’s shit…”
(Looking at a turnip) “That’s a rhubarb right?”
After seeing a family of six fat people each eating a turkey leg…
Me: “three turkeys it took for them fat basterds to have a snack”
Boyfriend: “Haha, are you messing? Don’t you mean like, one and a half turkeys? They have four legs don’t they..?”
Me: “What type of fucked up Turkeys do you eat?”
(Asking seriously about libraries) “What type of business is that giving away free books, how does it make any money?”
Happy Christmas Hotties… have a magical one xx