February 2012

This is an actual phone conversion between myself and The Boyfriend, that took place last week when his sister was visiting for the weekend to celebrate her birthday…   

 Me: Have you got Rach a card and pressie for her Birthday yet?

 Boyfriend: No

 Me: You do know it’s her Birthday today and we’re seeing them tonight don’t you.

 Boyfriend: Yeah I know, but she’s already been round this morning so she knows I haven’t.

 Me: She’s been round? So… did you just tell her you’re a terrible brother and you forgot??

 Boyfriend: No! I gave her all those out of date tokens of ours for the pier… and I found one of my old birthday cards and just crossed the names out and changed them.

 Me: You gave her an old birthday card with the names changed? Wow, so you ARE a shit brother.

 Boyfriend: …I drew her a picture too. It took me ages.

 Me: Oh god, what did you draw.

 Boyfriend: I’m not telling you… I might have got carried away.

 Me: …tell me.

 Boyfriend: OK, but for the record she thought it was really funny.

 Me: Oh god…

 Boyfriend: *giggling* It was a vagina looking at itself in the mirror.

 He wasn’t lying either…

Disclaimer: I should probably point out that he’s not a cheap bastard, neither does he not give a fuck about his sister’s birthday.
He was waiting for his loan to come in.
(He told me to say that.)


The Scarlett Mini Guide To… Avoiding A Clichéd Valentines

Thumbnail image for The Scarlett Mini Guide To… Avoiding A Clichéd Valentines

I’m not naturally the most romantic of people… I can’t stand public displays of affection and I certainly can’t stand the false rose petals and cuddly bears that comes with Valentines day. Let me put […]

Read More

A Rescue Mission In Dead Dolphin Bay…

Thumbnail image for A Rescue Mission In Dead Dolphin Bay…

Have you ever seen a dolphin in the wild? Because, I kid you not, it’s absolutely incredible. Seriously… you know that bit in Titanic before he starts screaming “I’m the King of the Worldddd” where […]

Read More