Unless you live under a rock or haven’t been on Facebook/Snapchat this week; Liverpool is in the throes of a heatwave.
And it’s fucking glorious… if not a just a tiny bit uncomfortable. But I’m not complaining. Well, I was complaining a little bit this morning but that’s only because I took the dog out and had to carry him all the way home after he gave up, lay down and jut looked as if to say, “nah Mum, can’t.”
So, to get you through the next week of sunshine, BBQ’s and inevitable day drinking, here’s exactly what you need to survive the heatwave.
Nobody wants hair their hair to look like it’s been sprayed on, so dry shampoo should already be one of your handbag staples for greasy hair days, but in Summer it also moonlights as welcome relief from chubby rub. Trust me.
This is just common decency on a hot day really. Also, if I can smell you, you’re too close to me.
10% for avoiding squint-wrinkles, 90% for perving and looking fab. (FYI; mirrored aviators are the best for this.)
For when your new sandals start to rub.
Because you can’t pay for your lollyice with a debit card yet, (sly). Also you almost guaranteed to need cab fare home for when you bail your car and accidentally get a bit mangled in beer garden after work.
It’s a scientific fact that your phone loses battery 30% quicker in the heat, and it probably has absolutely nothing to do with the 23 photos you’ve taken of your bottle of corona/cocktail to post on Instagram.
So you feel fresh through the inevitable transition from day drinking to a spotaneous night of jagerbombs and slut dropping in the Gbar.
It’s time we all just accepted we’re going to sweat it all off.
One of those Eleccy fans from Poundland
In a (usually fruitless) attempt to combat the dreaded sweat moustache.
An emergency can of Fanta fruit twist
Because when else can you drink Fanta fruit twist?
Until next time… x
*Chubby rub: the chafing you get when your thunder thighs rub together in the heat.
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