There comes a point in every relationship where you’ve just got to spend your Saturday throwing the fuck out of some axes together.**
So last Saturday me and my slice headed to Manchester for a couple of hours in Hunger Games bootcamp at Whistle Punks Urban Axe Throwing.
Honestly, my first impression was “fuuuuuuuck”. We’d walked in after a gang of 8 fellas on a stag do, (two of which, I should mention, had clocked me flashing my bra at my fella when I thought nobody was around about five minutes earlier. What can I say, I’m a classy girl.) and although axe throwing is definitely a bit of me, I didn’t think a little 5’2″ bird stood a chance against a gang of fellas with something to prove.
After a quick safety brief – and can I just take this opportunity to say how much I appreciate places that give nice, quick safety briefs. Honestly, in a world that’s so bubble wrapped in health and safety, there’s nothing better than a gaff that treats adults like adults and just says “here, this is how not to die – also don’t do anything stupid and accidentally kill anyone else.” So 10 points to Whistle Punks for that! Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah; so after a quick safety brief we went straight into some practice throws, and seriously it’s so much harder than it looks.
Getting to grips
There were three cages, with three difference instructors – which was really good because they all had difference tips and tricks to help you. As I said, I didn’t think I stood a chance against a gang of lads all competing to be the alpha male, but honestly I shouldn’t have worried. Believe it or not axe throwing has nothing to do with strength and everything to do with skill. As soon as I stopped lashing my entire weight behind the axe and actually listened to the instructors, it stopped bouncing off the cage walls and finally started hitting the board. When it came to the tournament, (oh yeah, once you’ve had a practice they pit you against each other in a dog-eat-dog competition) I made it to the semi-final against all the odds. Honestly girls, this isn’t just a lad’s sport, you’ve just as much chance at smashing this as anyone else there.
Is it worth going?
100%. I mean, I’m not the girliest girl in the world, so this sort of thing is right up my street. But I think it’s particulary good for stag do’s or if you’re looking for date ideas that aren’t just dinner and drinks. It’s around £20-£25pp and definitely a bit more fun than just going to the pictures. Plus, with it being smack bang in the city centre there’s loads of places to grab a drink and heckle the loser afterwards.
So yeah, see you in the hunger games!
Until next time… x
**I’m only really half joking here to be honest – I mean, with Trump Towers erecting its orange, cock-shaped shadow over the world, The Purge is looking less and less like a dystopian fantasy… AMIRITE? And wouldn’t you rather know now whether or not your fella has the minerals now? I know I would.
***Also, side note girls, this is a win-win situation. If you’re an absolute bag of shit at axe throwing, it’s a great opportunity for your fella to impress you with his Viking skills and score himself some man-points. By the end he’ll be so drunk off his own testosterone he’ll want to carry on feeling like the hunter-gatherer… which means he’s either paying for dinner or putting in a decent shift later that night. Both, if you steer the situation right. On the other hand, if you absolutely kick ass at it, you’ve won yourself some serious girl points… and who needs someone to buy you dinner when you’re a bad ass bitch who can take care of herself?