May 2017

Between staying in a haunted hotel and watching my fella attempt to catch fish, I’ve been making my way round the UK recently. So next on the list to tell you about is my 24 hours in Helmsley

We were looking for a relaxing night somewhere near to Cromwell, and I read that Helmsley was the perfect little village if you wanted to chill and get away from the buzz of the city. So here’s what I found out:

Where to stay

For such a small town there’s a whole host of places to stay, but I honestly cannot recommend the Feversham Arms Hotel enough.

  • The rooms were amazing. We stayed in a suite, which meant we didn’t just have the bedroom and a lounge to enjoy, but we had a double bathroom with two sinks. Because it doesn’t matter how much you love someone, you don’t want to share a sink with a boy.

feversham arms hotel review

  • There’s a heated outdoor pool with a hot tub. Seriously guys, bury me here. Technically you’re meant to leave the pool by sunset, but after a bit of a “g’wedddddd” from me, they let us stay and have a drink under the stars. Honestly I’ve never felt more relaxed in my life.
  • The service was the best I’ve ever had at a hotel by far. As well as letting us in the pool at all hours, (and bringing us drinks to the hot tub, AND taking photo’s for us) they even brought drinks and butties to the hotel room at 1am when we were drunk dancing round the suite to Elton John on Smooth radio


  • Bonus points for the A1 hangover breakfast the next day. Instead of just helping yourself from a buffet, they cook whatever you want. Literally.

Where to eat

The most important thing you need to know about Helmsley is that, if you stay any longer than 24 hours, you’re going to have to be air-lifted home. This tiny village is like the afternoon tea capital of the UK – honestly, every other building is a coffee shop or a bakery, all trying to out-do each other with bigger and better cakes.

Now I’m going to be honest – me and my fella aren’t really ‘afternoon tea’ kind of people. I’m more comfortable drinking cheap beer in a field while dancing, and he’s like a bull in a china shop. That said, I’m not one for passing up the opportunity to eat my body weight in pastry. So the first thing we did, (after dumping our bags, and taking 300 selfies in the huge bath at The Feversham Arms) was head to the Black Swan hotel for afternoon tea.

And, oh my god. I can’t even describe it. Mate, you should have seen these cakes. Not only were they delicious, but they looked like actual artwork; with little flower-accents and gold dust sprinkled on them. It’s the kind of place your Nan would cry with joy if you took her here. I actually asked them to box up everything we hadn’t eaten because I’m fully committed to the fat life. Seriously, take a look at this.


After that, we were too full to eat tea, (that’s if you don’t include the 1am butties in the hotel – but calories don’t count if you don’t remember eating them!) but we did go to the Feathers Hotel for some drinks later on, which is one of these really antwakky but adorable pubs where the old men play dominoes and the old women get bladdered and flirt with the bar men. Also known as; me in 50 years. 

What to do

Eat. Seriously – that’s what you need to be ready to do in Helmsley. Even when you think you’re full, you’re going to walk past a window and see a cake you just need to eat.

However, if you’re keen to walk off some of the calories, head to the National Centre for birds of Prey to see some absolutely badass birds. They have shows twice a day, but you can walk round any time.

So, in summary:

  • If you’re looking to escape the stress of city life, Helmsley is the perfect little village to chill.
  • Helmsley is the cake and afternoon tea capital of the UK.
  • Chilling in a hot tub under the stars with a bacardi in my hand is my new favourite hobby.

Until next time…x


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