Today I turn 28 years old and, as you’re reading this, I’ll be snowboarding down a mountain in France… something I never even imagined I’d be doing – let alone enjoying – when I turned 26

When I wrote that post two years ago I ended by saying, “Everything’s going to be fine, just buckle up and enjoy the ride!” Well fuck me, what a ride it’s been. The last two years have been a rollercoaster to say the least. There’s been absolutely ridiculous, can’t-keep-my-feet-on-the-floor highs, and crippling lows. 

But that’s what life is about, enjoying the good times and not letting the bad times define you. Every choice we make steers our life in a different direction, and every moment is a fresh start. You never obligated to be the person you were two years ago, two months ago or even two minutes ago.

So today I thought I’d share 28 things that I’ve learned as I enter my 28th year on earth.

1. In all likelihood, you’re not having a complete breakdown. You just need a cup of tea, a biscuit and a good night’s sleep.
2. People despise weaklings and quitters.
3. There’s no sadness fresh air, blue skies and adrenaline cannot mend.
4. Orange juice and jam on toast are the combination made in hell.
5. Not everyone is going to love you. Most people don’t even love themselves.
6. Step out of your comfort zone. You might like it there.
7. Some people are friends by proximity, others because they define you.
8. Don’t put up with any shit. From anyone.
9. You will outgrow some of your friends. It would be weird if you didn’t.
10. Wasabi peas are a funeral for your mouth.
11. It’s OK to be sad sometimes. It’s OK to cry. Cry all you want. But once you’re done, don’t let whatever made you cry make you cry again.
12. Be kind. And when you really can’t be kind, just don’t be a dick.
13. If you don’t think a man’s joke is funny, don’t laugh.
14. Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is understanding that the other person is a dick.
15. Use a body brush as often as possible. Your skin will love you for it, and you’ll feel like a silky smooth dolphin creature.
16. People who hurt animals for fun are cruel and terrible. Don’t be friends with them.
17. Most people in positions of power are there because they excel at talking out of their arses.
18. Sometimes you’ll drink protein shakes and eat avocados. Sometimes drink two bottles of wine and eat a chippy on the curb. Just find a balance.
19. If someone is going to cheat on you, they’re going to cheat on you. Keeping tabs or checking their phone isn’t going to stop them.
20. Everything’s worth a try.
21. You can make almost anything look home-made by melting some cheese on it.
22. It’s OK to say you can’t do something. But there’s 10 people in the queue waiting to give it a go if you don’t.
23. The most important relationship is the one you have with yourself. Don’t lose that.
24. You’ll never regret working out.
25. Don’t fuck men who treat other people badly.
26. Everyone was a beginner once.
27. Drink all the water.
28. Stay true to yourself. Unapologetically.

3 comments… read them below or add one

snowbird April 9, 2016 at 10:25 pm

Brilliant, as usual! I just love it!! Happy birthday


Edna April 10, 2016 at 8:19 am

I love (and can relate to) so many of these. Although, are 14 and 20 the same?


WeezaFish April 12, 2016 at 8:05 pm

Here here, thumbs up emoji and all that :) And HAPPY BIRTHDAY lovely miss. Gee, I wish I was 28 again …


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