We all know it, we’ve ALL BEEN THERE. 25 thoughts that will go through your head when shopping in Primark…
By ZOE YAK
1. I’ll nip in Primark, I’ve not been for a while.
2. Oh. Now I remember why I haven’t been for a while.
3. How is it always this busy no matter what time? The place stinks of sweat and frustration.
4. I swear that top was in here a few years ago
5. Oh great, more slogan tees – just what the world needs.
6. Oh that’s actually quite nice? What? How much? Primark’s getting a bit cheeky
7. Primark leggings? Hahahah good one. The falsest of false economy – no thanks.
8. Ooo they do gym wear now?
9. Right, that’s nice. I better try it on in every size from 8 to 18 because fuck knows what size anyone is in this place.
10. Oh of course there’s a queue for the changing room – reckon I can get away with changing by the stairs if no one’s looking?
11. Where’s everyone gone? Oh great, I can’t even text them as Primark doesn’t seem to believe in providing phone signal.
12. No thank you – it managed to make me look I had no boobs but a cracking set on my back which I suppose is quite an achievement but I won’t be buying it.
13. Maybe I’ll just get some knickers and PJS
14. Ahhh at least their nightwear game is always strong.
15. Remember when everyone called it Primarni? That was a tough time.
16. Can I be arsed queuing up? That queue is longer than the list of lads waiting to get out of my friend zone!
17. I’m gonna queue – I’ve been here for an hour. THIS WILL NOT BE A WASTED TRIP.
18. Fuck sake, can’t believe I’m queuing for a pair of socks and a nightie.
19. I’m gonna grab some Haribo next to the till then it’s not a complete wasted shopping trip.
20. Mmm Haribo
21. What are these random DVDs they always shove by the tills? Fucking hell – who’s paying a fiver for “Failure to Launch” when Netflix is only 8 quid a month for every shit film you could imagine?
22. Oh great, they’re still going with those paper bags. Don’t care about exploiting child workers for their clothes but apparently plazzy carrier bags are the real evil here.
23. Sly they make the staff wear that uniform – I feel itchy just looking at their shirts.
24. Oh fab, it’s raining and this eco-friendly brown bag has now collapsed and my socks are in a puddle on the floor.
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