Scarlett View…

Because life is full of things ain’t nobody got time for…

aint nobody got time for

Meal prepping

According to just about every fitness blog/Instagram/twitter I have absolutely no excuse not to spend my Sundays meal prepping for the week ahead.

Well actually, I have two problems with this; first of all, I take issue with having exactly what I’ll be eating on Friday already nailed down on Sunday. Friday is one of the best days of the week, why would I want to spend it eating 5 day old food?

Secondly, I have many, many valid excuses as to why I don’t have time to meal prep on a Sunday. For one; sporadic napping. Not to mention the time I spend eating, binge-watching Netflix and the three hours spent regretting my poor life decisions from the night before.

Doing a big shop

Have you ever been to a supermarket of a weekend? It’s a fucking awful experience, not dissimilar to entering The Hunger Games.

Even if you can face the crowds and the fact all of the decent food has already gone, you have to brave the mummy shoppers who – despite usually having an actual human strapped to their chests – have absolutely no qualms with waging war with anyone over the last 12-pack of free range eggs.

Reading magazines

Reading magazines these days requires so much extra effort. For example; say I want to read a gripping, thought provoking article on Cheryl Cole’s bum tattoo, first I have to research why her name is now Cheryl Fernandez-Versini.

Then I have to Google her new husband, which will inevitably take me into the dark depths of the Daily Mail’s sidebar of shame. By the time I resurface, bleary-eyed and much more skeptical of humanity than I was before, three hours have passed and I still haven’t seen Cheryl’s arse. The struggle is real.

Checking my mail

In the two months I’ve lived in my new flat I must have checked my mailbox once. This is partly because I have undiagnosed, adult ADD and unless something is placed directly in front of my face I will forget about it almost immediately, and partly because I have no interest in reading 107 takeaway menus and one letter from my optician telling me I might need an eye test at some point in the next two years. If you ask me mailboxes have been redundant ever since e-payments were invented.

Until next time… x


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