Can I snowboard in jeans?

“Can I snowboard in jeans?” my mate asked me as we booked her onto a beginner course.

I shook my head.

“…because I’ve looked on the internet and people say jeans are fine.”

Well if people on the internet say it’s OK, it must be true.

As it turns out, it’s actually a highly popular question on Yahoo Answers; that strange website used by people who don’t understand the concept of Google. So today, internet, I’ve taken it upon myself to step up and answer your earnest question.

Let’s take a look at the facts:

Jeans are made of denim, which is essentially really thick cotton – a heavy, rough, absorbent and poorly-insulating material, invented for sexy people to wear whilst riding horses shirtless in the outback. What do you think this material is going to feel like on your soft, delicate skin when it gets wet at the top of a fucking freezing mountain top?

Now, I don’t know you. I don’t know what you’re into. You might enjoy the sensation of your balls chafing against moist sandpaper. You might thrive in situations where frost-bite slowly annihilates your arse cheeks. Each to their own.

But ask yourself this; would you wear jeans to the gym? Would you wear them to go cycling? I doubt it, because they’re actually really fucking restrictive and you’d look like a fool.

Personally, I don’t even really like sitting down for long periods in jeans, let alone snowboarding – so, if there’s the option of having something softer cushioning my thighs, I’m picking that.

So in answer to the question, internet; of course you can snowboard in jeans. You can do whatever the fuck you want. Of course, it won’t be a pleasant experience, I can promise you that. But by all means, go for it.

Until next time… x

1 comment… read it below or add one

Michael Humphreys February 11, 2016 at 8:56 am

You can buy denim snowboard pants and salopettes – there have been a few by brands such as Vans and Burton. Their outer fabric is treated with a durable water repellent, so they don’t soak up water, plus there is a waterproof membrane beneath the outer fabric, so you stay dry and comfortable anyway while still rocking that casual look :-)

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