July 15, 2014 in Category Girl Stuff,If You Ask Me,Scarlett View...

Carrie Bradshaw is a dick

Did you know that, at the moment, hundreds… no thousands of twenty-something women are suffering from a condition known as ‘Continual Sex and the City Box Set Syndrome’?

At any given time these women are locked in an endless cycle of watching the entire six series of Sex and City only to start all over again when they finish; so completing the great ‘Circle of SATC’.

I know, because I am one of those women. 

I might not watch it every day. I might not watch it every week. But at some point, I’m always mid-way through a season, ready to pick up where I left off whenever I have a spare half an hour.

I love Sex and the City. I love Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte. I love their characters and how they grow and evolve as the series goes on.

What I don’t love is Carrie Bradshaw. Because Carrie Bradshaw is an idiot. And a really shitty role model for young women.

At this point I should probably make clear that I’m aware that Carrie Bradshaw is a fictional character and I could just stop watching the series. But instead I’ve decided to do the rational thing and have an internet-rant outlining exactly why she’s such a massive dick.

So, let’s take a look at the evidence…

Classic Carrie dick-move #1

When her shoes were stolen from a baby shower, (probably by one of the children) she, quite literally, registered herself at Manolo Blahnik and made a woman with three children and a newborn, buy her new $485 shoes ‘in celebration of Carrie.’

Classic Carrie dick-move #2

Carrie is a shitty girlfriend to Aiden. After he takes her back, forgives her lengthy affair, tolerates her friendship with the guy she cheated on him with, then invites her on a weekend away in the cabin that he pretty much built himself, (sexy btw) – she spends the entire trip complaining and generally being a massive diva… mainly because squirrels exist.

Then, she has the absolute audacity to invite the guy she cheated on him with to said cabin that he pretty much built himself (sexy) to chat and drink wine.

Carrie 1

Classic Carrie dick-move #3

She spends a week moaning incessantly because one of Aidan’s exes gives her a bit of a snotty look. In the meantime, Miranda’s struggling to cope with being a single mum and Charlotte’s on the verge of going to court in a bid to keep her home.

None of that matter though, because someone gave Carrie a dirty look.

She does briefly come up for breath mid-moan, though, long enough to guilt Samantha into babysitting for Miranda… despite not bothering to offer to do so herself.

Bonus dick-move

She throws a strop and literally stalks Natasha, the wife of the guy she had an lengthy affair with, because she won’t immediately accept her apology.

carrie 3

But these aren’t what makes Carrie a shitty person. What makes her a shitty person is how she treats her friends. Case in point:

Carrie and Samantha

Carrie can’t help herself from throwing sly digs at Samantha both when she’s dating Maria and when she’s caught going down on that delivery guy – despite the fact that Samantha completely nonjudgmental during Carrie’s affair with Big.

Oh, and the latter is when Samantha is taking time out of her life to do free PR for Carrie’s book launch.

Carrie and Charlotte

Remember when, as a 35-year-old woman, Carrie suddenly realises that she’s spent $40,000 on shoes despite having absolutely no savings whatsoever? Well, instead of considering selling some of her shit, or even looking for a second job, she epically loses her shit because Charlotte doesn’t immediately offer to pay the deposit on her flat for her.

Then, when Charlotte finally gets back together with Harry after months of heartache – and get’s engaged – Carrie  sticks her Burger-break-up-post-it over Charlotte’s ring, quickly putting an end to any excitement that might have resulted in the spotlight temporarily shifting away from her. Because nobody gets to be happy if Carrie isn’t happy.

carrie bradshaw idiot

Carrie and Miranda

As well as the time that Carrie sent her boyfriend to peel a naked Miranda off the bathroom floor, rather than go herself – then proceeded to moan about her ever-turbulent love life the next day before even asking about the extent of her injuries – Miranda bears the brunt of Carrie’s shitty friendship.

First of all, when Miranda accidentally gets pregnant by her ex boyfriend and very close friend, and (naturally) struggles to decide whether or not to have an abortion, Carrie makes sure that the conversation never moves away from her by going on and on about an abortion she had 13 years before after sleeping with a random waiter when she was drunk.

Secondly, when Steve cheats on Miranda leaving her heartbroken, looking for a new home and worrying about the custody issues surrounding her 5-year-old son, Carrie doesn’t rally around the friend that has been with her through everything…  because she has a wedding to plan!

BUT, when Carrie gets left at the alter by a man who she’s known to be a liability for ten years, her friends are expected to get her (already sold) home back, pick up all her stuff and get her out of her honeymoon.

Side note: When Samantha tries to get her out of her honeymoon by suggesting there had been a death, she replies ‘wasn’t there?’ No, Carrie. No there wasn’t.

And then, when they can’t cancel the honeymoon, they drop everything – their jobs, children and lives – to fly to Mexico with her and feed her for the first three days.

carrie bradshaw bitch

So in summary:

– Carrie is a dick.

– Being able to build your own cabin is pretty sexy.

– It’s probably time I laid off the boxset for a while.

Until next time… x

19 comments… read them below or add one

Jessica Brown July 15, 2014 at 5:14 pm

I love Sex and the City – but I always felt bad for thinking exactly the same thing. I love her – but she is a bit of a bitch, isn’t she? It takes a brave person to say out-loud what we were all thinking! x

Reply

Gorilla Bananas July 15, 2014 at 8:11 pm

I could never get my head round the idea that men would find her attractive, so the show was too bemusing for me to follow. Did any men dump Carrie to chase after one of the others? If that never happened, it’s all too unbelievable.

Reply

Lesley July 16, 2014 at 6:26 am

I think i have a girl crush on you! Fantastic blog as always, Miss S

Reply

Lynda July 16, 2014 at 12:09 pm

“So in summery, Carrie is a dick.” Hahaha. I never religiously got into S&TC, but I LOVED the movies for some off reason. And agreed with Gorilla Bananas comment – could never understand how she was so irresistibly attractive… and it makes me wonder how I’m single (again), ugh.

Reply

Mike July 16, 2014 at 8:10 pm

LOL….still laughing about the “dick” remark. I did watch some episodes of SITC just because I’ve always been a huge fan of SJP. That said…I can’t argue whatsoever with your criticism of her character on the show!

Several years ago a buddy of mine got seated in first class next to this attractive lady. 5 hour cross country flight. She had NO CLUE who she was and they just chatted about whatever. It was when they deboarded that she shook his hand and introduced herself. He immediately texted another buddy of our’s, “Who the heck is Sarah Jessica-Parker?” I love that story!

Reply

Vicky July 17, 2014 at 2:19 pm

Love the passion in all this justification. I’m still totally addicted to SATC – I had a short hiatus when the dog wank films came out but in back on the box sets now. When I was at school I used to think Carrie was the best, I wanted to be just like her. It took me a few years to realise how selfish she is and annoying. Another one of her finest moments was on the morning of Charlottes wedding to Tre when she told Aiden she’d cheated on him and was then surprised when he wouldn’t come to the wedding with her, so making the whole day about her, again.

Reply

Jess @UsedYorkCity July 17, 2014 at 11:52 pm

Ohhh mannnnn Scarlett…I have to say, I was TOTES hesitant to read this post, cause, well, I adore Carrie something fierce. (Fictional character, I know, I know.)

HOWEVER.

After reading it all the way through (twice!), I have to say you brought up a lot of valid points that totally never registered with me the million times I watched this show. And although I do still love me some Carrie, I can totally get how she’s a big of a slong;-)

Reply

Ginny July 18, 2014 at 12:58 pm

Carrie is my least favorite. She treated so many people like crap. Aiden was a great guy and she treated him horribly. I would have picked Aiden over Big any day.

Reply

kate July 18, 2014 at 1:51 pm

Quite right.
And beautifully put. x

Reply

Ashley July 18, 2014 at 3:16 pm

This is the best blog post I’d ever read. I loved it.

~Ashley @ A Cute Angle
acutelifestyle.blogspot.com

Reply

Jamie July 18, 2014 at 10:06 pm

I’m here to stick up for my fictional character hero. What you don’t mention in Dick Move #1 is that Carrie actually spent more money on this friend. She had to buy this friend an engagement gift, wedding gift,and baby shower gifts (times 3) totaling more than what the pair of shoes were worth. Yes, it truly is a ridiculous amount of money for shoes. But if Carrie has to buy gifts to celebrate this friend’s choices (getting married and having babies) then what’s so wrong with Carrie celebrating her single self?

Reply

Katharina | Kate goes Global July 20, 2014 at 9:35 am

Thank you – Finally someone speaks up! I love SATC but always felt like she’s the one with less character – she’s 2D while her friends are 3D (does that make sense?).

Reply

Paula July 21, 2014 at 10:25 pm

With the exception of the Manolo Blahnik incident (I’m pro-Carrie on THAT one) I support every single thing you’ve said here. Completely.

Reply

Katie July 22, 2014 at 11:19 am

Omg I’ve never even considered that she’s a dick! *run’s back to tv to jam in SATC boxset 1 to re-watch with a notepad*

Katie <3

Reply

Fredulous July 23, 2014 at 11:44 pm

There are all those tired jokes about how Sarah Jessica Parker looks like a horse. And they have massive dicks. Coincidence?

Reply

Monica July 24, 2014 at 2:12 pm

No, no, nooooo. You’re ruining it. I LOVE Carrie. But now I’ve started to think about, she’s a massive dick. A really massive dick.
It’s going to take me a while to come to terms with this.

Reply

abeerfortheshower July 24, 2014 at 3:23 pm

I can’t stand this show because I’m straight and I have a penis but of the episodes I’ve been forced to watch, I think it was Carrie that I disliked. The other girls didn’t really annoy me the same way she did. You may be onto something here.

Reply

Lady Jewels Diva July 25, 2014 at 2:59 am

The repeats come on tv just before Craig Ferguson so I end up seeing bits and pieces. I never watched it the first or second time and don’t now, but the ep where Miranda found out she was pregnant came up the other night and you talked about that one. I switched over.

SJP is not an attractive person and for some reason I just don’t like the character. She is self-absorbed but then that was probably the point of the show. It was written from her perspective so featured her more, hence the others bitching that SJP always got paid more.

Reply

Kelly July 26, 2014 at 12:13 pm

FINALLY someone else thinks so too!! ????

Reply

Leave a Comment

1 trackback

Previous post:

Next post: