Scarlett View…

It’s nearly Valentine’s Day, which generally means one of the following; you’re desperately swiping right to anyone and anything on Tinder in the hope to get laid on the big day, you’re dropping less than-subtle hints to your boyfriend about a Pandora ring you like, or you’re just steaming off the availability of heart shaped pizzas at The Asda.

But girls, whilst some of you might have been busy thinking about the nice bunch of flowers you want your fella to get delivered to your office, or what restaurant you hope he books to avoid another night of Netflix and Fall Asleep Without Shagging – chances are you haven’t put much thought into what he wants for V-Day this year.

The point is, if you have a lad in your life (whether it’s a long-term situation or simply the result of an extended birding up season thanks to the god awful weather) buying a Valentine’s gift is hard because nobody wants to attach too much meaning to it. In 99% of cases, you can’t go with the classic flowers like lads can, so you have to wade through the shitstorm of generic gifts – until now. So here’s a couple of ideas that might help.

Stop obsessing over his exes

I don’t care whether he was seeing Gigi Hadid before you; he’s with you now. So please god stop torturing yourself by obsessing over her Instagram account, and stop torturing him by giving him the silent treatment if he dares to mention her name. Yes, we’d all like it if our fellas hadn’t shagged anyone before us, but then how would they know how to do that thing you like? We all come with baggage, so it’s time to stop worrying.

stalk exes

Spice it up

If you’ve got into a bit of a routine of nightly missionary, no foreplay sex, it might be time to spice things up a little. I’m not suggesting you have to go full porn-star, unless that’s what you’re into, but some new lingerie wouldn’t go amiss. If you follow me on instagram (which you should) you’ll have seen that my go-to brand for sexy underwear that makes you feel like a gorgeous Victoria’s Secret Angel rather than a refugee from my big fat gypsy wedding, is the fabulous Something Wicked. So if you’re not sure where to start, I recommend there!

something wicked lingerie

Decide where you want to fucking eat

I read somewhere, (I suspect the Daily Mail’s sidebar of shame, but I have no desire to go back and check and risk losing another 4 hours of my life) that couples spend 132 hours a year deciding where to eat. And since 99.9% of the lads I know would eat absolutely anything that was put in front of them, I’m going to take a stab in the dark and suggest perhaps we could vow to be a bit clearer about our restaurant preferences. Or at least not snarl EVERY single place he picks after we say “you pick , babe.”

decide where to eat

Until next time… x


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