So I guess you could call this “bad decisions in Brussels: part 3” – or, if it were an episode of Friends; “the one where we got bladdered with some lads from Iceland.”
To recap; we’d just found out that we’d only booked our Air B’n’B room for two nights of our three night stay in Brussels just 12 hours before we were expected to check out, and it dawned on us that we had three options; use the last of our euros on an expensive hotel, stay in the Air B’n’B host’s brother’s house as he suggested, (yes, it sounded as murder-y to us as it does to you) or stay out and go straight to the airport at 4am ready for our 7am flight.
After a quick confab over a European measure of vodka* we decided that, seeing as we still had a roof over our heads for the next 12 hours, that was a decision that future Scarlett and Zoe could make in the morning, whilst present Scarlett and Zoe could just go out and see what Brussels had to offer by the way of nightlife. We know how to adult.
Naturally, we quickly ended up in Brussels’ gay quarter, (there was a brief episode beforehand where we got lost and walked through what can only be described as “the hood” for 45 minutes, but we needn’t go into that) and based ourselves in the bar with the strongest WiFi and access to a plug socket – needs must, after all.
Sat in front of us was a group of lads; all blue eyed blondes that would have Hitler jizzing in his grave.
Sorry, that was a completely inappropriate WW2 joke. Anne Frank-ly I knock myself sick
SO, back to the story.
Somehow, and I genuinely couldn’t tell you how, we ended up sitting with this group of, what turned out to be 19 year old boys from Iceland. Instinctively, I told them I too was 19 (I’m 27) and Zoe was 21, (she’s 26) which they believed, giving me no end of amusement purely based on the fact that Zoe was fuming I made her older than me.
Long story short, they ended up being really quite hilarious and, honestly, we probably learned more about Iceland in those few hours than we did about Brussels in the three days we were there. So, here are the three most important things you need to know.
- Iceland has serious Incest issues. To the point were the powers that be have actually created an App to combat the problem. I shit you not.
- Iceland has two seasons; very very dark and very very very bright. According to the boys, this is the reason, and I quote; “every fucker tries to escape the place.”
- They fucking love Jeremy Clarkson. Even after we explained that he’s actually just a reptile currently posing as a (casually racist) human being (and I say that as a closet fan of Top Gear – what can I say, I like fast cars) they pointed out that they we’re actually OK with the fact he was a bit racist. I quote; “have you not seen us, we’re basically the Aryan race, yes?” (Look, they said it. Not me.)
So there you go.
Eventually it got to around 2am and we decided it was time for us to take ourselves home; much to our new friends dismay.
“Sorry lads, we’ve got to get up early tomorrow.”
“That doesn’t matter, so have we!”
“Yeah, well, we’re older than you, we can’t handle it.”
“Only by six months!”
Oh shit. I’d forgot about that lie. Try six years.
So off we went into the night – back to the Air B’n’B which we only had for a few more hours. In the cab-ride back, we became increasingly more aware that we were now future Scarlett and Zoe, and we really needed to figure out what we were going to do.
Quite the pickle, really…
Until next time… xx
*approx 2/3 of a pint of vodka with a splash of mixer.