August 20, 2014 in Category If You Ask Me,In the News,Scarlett View...

Asking for help

In the wake of Robin Williams’ death last week the world has been in shock. Not only because we lost a truly inspiring man, but because it opened up the debate as to whether or not suicide is selfish.

I have absolutely no interest in entering that debate. As far as I’m concerned no-one can every truly know what’s going on in another person’s head.

But what I do want to say is, if you’re feeling sad or considering hurting yourself, please talk to someone. 

We live in a world where there’s a stigma around seeking help. Vulnerability is seen as sign of weakness. Something to be pitied. But I don’t think asking for help is weak.

I wanted to write a post about the importance of talking to someone, but then I found this little owl who has put it more eloquently than I ever could:

Ask for help

ask for help dperession


So please, if you feel like there’s no light at the end of the tunnel, don’t be afraid to speak up. Because, whatever battle you’re fighting, you don’t have to fight it on your own.  

5 comments… read them below or add one

Ian August 20, 2014 at 4:50 pm

Raw subject for me but the point you make is incredibly valid!

I’ve been on both sides, I reached out and was helped. Sadly a friend reached out to me at a time I couldn’t help her and she took her own life.

One thing I do know, if you’re strong enough to take your own life then you’re strong enough to ask for help one more time.

Great post Jen, sensitively handled :-)



Gorilla Bananas August 21, 2014 at 6:21 am

What do you think of the Samaritans, Miss Scarlett?

I’ve been tempted to contact them just to find out how they talk to people, but I don’t want to waste their time.


Katie August 21, 2014 at 11:29 am

Thanks for this Jen, I’ve known so many people ask for ‘a stick,’ and over the years I’ve managed to give it to them and they’ve used it to pull themselves out of the dark place. I hope they would all do the same for me!

Katie <3


Angry Wooderson August 22, 2014 at 8:25 pm

I love the “stick” analogy. I think the hardest part for people to understand is that the person isn’t looking for a grand solution. They aren’t looking to be rescued. They are looking for a stick, not an extraction.

It’s like it’s the opposite of the “teach a man to fish” story. We’re so used to seeing someone reeling, and we think the only way to pitch in is to help them fix their lives. That’s daunting and we shy away. Truth is, sometimes people in trouble just need a single fish — some sort of nourishment for their souls to get back in the fight and rescue themselves. I hope this doesn’t sound like I’m minimizing the struggle, because I know the feeling. And the overwhelming feeling is that the ability for things to change is simply not in your hands and not in your ability. And when I’ve been there, it takes a sign from someone that maybe my assessment of the present isn’t what I think it’s is. So maybe things don’t have to change that much.


Fredulous August 24, 2014 at 1:42 pm

I’m seconding this motion. I have considered writing something about depression on my blog for a while, as it is something I have a lot of experience with. I have yet to find a way to organise my thoughts on the subject though.


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