The thing about juice detoxes

With January in full flow, you can’t swing a cat without hitting someone brandishing their new diet plan, their detox juice or their shiny new gym membership.

And why not? January is the month of the cut; where we all regret every Quality Street we’ve ever eaten as we desperately try to squeeze our fluff into our pre-Christmas skinny jeans, and vow to live a healthier lifestyle from now until the end of time – well at least for the next three weeks.

One of the more popular attempts at dragging yourself from the downward spiral into morbid obesity that you’ve been enjoying for the last month is the three day juice diet; where you drink nothing but fluorescent veg water for three days in the hope of losing the 3-7lbs.

juice detox review

Now everyone has different experiences of juice detoxes, some people swear by them, other people claim they don’t work. For me; well in all honesty I struggle to have any sort of impassioned opinion on them.

Here’s the thing; for me, the cleanse worked in the sense that I lost six pounds, (going from 8st 12lbs to 8st 6lbs)  in three days and managed to keep them off, (despite claims that you pile the weight back on as soon as you start eating normally again.) But those three days were utterly miserable. I was tired, attempting to focus on anything except what everyone around me was eating was impossible and my stomach felt like a washing machine. Day two was the worst; the first day you feeldetermined, the third you know you get to eat in less than 24 hours… but the second? Soul destroying.

Quite frankly, I was really fucking hungry. And I’m not a nice hungry person. In fact I significantly remember calling my (now ex) boyfriend a ‘cruel gobshite’ in the middle of Poundland because he dared to buy a packet of Barney Bears in front of me on the morning of day three.

So, would I do it again? Probably. Pro’s-wise; I lost weight quickly, it kick-started  me into being healthier (after suffering for three days the last thing you want to do is gorge yourself on pizza and ruin your hard work) and, honestly, I may have felt like shit but I was also smug as fuck. But that’s not to say that the idea of doing it again wouldn’t fill me with abject dread.

Honest opinion? If you’re just looking to drop a few pounds quickly, with most cleanses costing upwards of £50, there are certainly cheaper ways to essentially starve yourself – homemade soups for example. But if you’re looking to genuinely make a healthy change then I’d suggest swerving spending three days of your life as a miserable shell of a person, and instead do what I did and buy your own juicer and swap your usual breakfast for a daily juice instead.

Until next time… x

5 comments… read them below or add one

snowbird January 17, 2015 at 8:41 pm

Oh….well done you surviving three days, I think I’d end up eating my own foot!xxx


Suzy Marie January 18, 2015 at 5:57 pm

Honestly, you’re practically a hero for managing to complete a juice cleanse. I love the idea of the whole thing; losing weight, kick-starting metabolism etc etc. But I just know I’d become a complete misery. I’d probably have to do it on three days where I just didn’t need to leave the house haha.


Lady Jewels Diva January 18, 2015 at 10:59 pm

I’ve never tried a juice diet or cleanse, but have used other liquids such as detox stuff, you just take it before eating etc. They helped drop a few kilos but once I stopped it came back on.

I find orange juice and sauces to be bloating for me, so the easiest is too stop having them. For other people it could be dairy, or breads, there are quick and simple ways of losing a few kilos without killing yourself on a three day juice cleanse. Who wants to be hangry all the time?


Teffy January 19, 2015 at 7:27 am

I’ve never done a 3-day juice cleanse, but the 1-day one I did I absolutely loved!

I actually never felt hungry once since there was a juice for me to drink every 2-hours or so. By the end of it I felt absolutely amazing! I’d love to try the 3-day once sometimes, just to see how it compares (I can definitely see myself losing it by the end of day 2).

{Teffy’s Perks} X


Katie January 27, 2015 at 2:06 pm

I think I would do a juice cleanse. (your bear story had me in hysterics though!) I think I would be pretty hungry but recently I’ve been suffering with IBS and anything/everything effects it so It might do me good to get rid of everything in my system! I reckon I would be a complete bitch on it though!

Katie <3


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