What not to do in the first month of dating

One of my mates had recently been seeing a girl for two weeks and was no short of smitten with her… until one night, out of the blue, she went turbo-crank and wrote a sarcastic comment on a photo of him and his ex from 2012. Which is pretty bad in itself, but she then proceeded to message said ex to tell her she was ugly (she isn’t) and that the comment was a private joke between her and my mate (it wasn’t).

In 24 hours she’d morphed from potentially ‘the one’ to 100% ‘the nutty one’.

And lads aren’t much better. I once drunkenly gave my number to some lad I met at 4am in Burger King – yes I know, shut up – and he text me 27 times in three hours without getting a single reply. Creeped out, I blocked his number, but that didn’t stop him checking my Linkedin profile twice a week for the next two months.


So, as a brand-new-out-the-packet single girl, I thought we should have a little chat about dating; specifically, what you absolutely shouldn’t do in the first month of dating someone new.

how to dump someone

  • Don’t text asking if they’re ignoring you. I don’t know about you, but my phone is in my hand 24/7; so if you think I’m ignoring you I promise you I am.

  • Don’t stalk too hard. If you tell me you’ve never done the obligatory social-media-background-check of your new love interest then you’re a fucking liar. But there’s a line. If you find yourself on their ex’s or any family member’s profile in the first month, then you’ve crossed it. Remember, an accidental slip of the thumb ruins lives – stalk sensibly.
  • Don’t worry about labels straight away. In the first month of dating you’re just getting to know each other. So don’t get hung up on ‘where the relationship is going’ or making it ‘official’ – just ride the wave and enjoy the exciting part.
  • Don’t bin your mates off. This is the cardinal sin of the singleton, and it’s an easy one to make. You’re infatuated, we get it – but remember that your mates were there for you when your last relationship hit the proverbial fan and they’ll be there if this one does too. Unless you drive them away.
  • Ex chat. If you’re comparing your new fling to an ex – even if it’s in a positive way – it tends to be a massive red flag that you’re not over them. Leave the past behind you and start afresh.
  • Do not – and this is an important one – say ‘I love you’. It’s not romantic, it’s too soon, see how you feel in six weeks.
  • Happy dating… x

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