July 5, 2012 in Category Hangovers,Scarlett Guides To Life...

So You’ve Ruined Your Life… Don’t Drink And Buy

Welcome to another edition of “So, you’ve ruined your life” – The Scarlett Guide to Sunday Morning Damage Control…

We’ve all been there; lying in bed trying to build up the courage to peel the covers off our heads and face whatever damge we may have caused after too many vod-bulls the night before…

In this series we’ve already looked at how to cope with the aftermath of indecent exposure and how to beg for forgiveness after being an angry drunk – but what about the problems you cause yourself on those lower key nights?

You know the ones I mean; where you pop out for a few drinks only to stagger home 4 cocktils later, open the laptop and, before you know it, you’ve made three online card transactions before you’ve even gone to bed.

Well, for anyone who’s ever bought anything online after a couple of drinks, welcome to… The Scarlett Guide to Drinking and Buying…

Preventitive measures:

If you know you’re the type to go on a spending spree after a few G&T’s, then put measures in place to ensure the whole process isn’t easy made for yourself. Avoid putting certain shops in your favourites; it’ll only tempt you – and if you do, stick to places like ASOS that do free returns! And for the love of God, don’t sign up to any sort of one-click buy nonsense – it’s lethal!

Obviously, if you’re reading this on a Sunday morning – any preventative tips are goignt o be pretty useless – so here are some ways to help to minimise the damage.

1) If you’ve signed up for any sort of direct debit, immediately cancel it using online banking or calling your bank – do this BEFORE you ring/email the company so they don’t take anything off you.
2)If you’ve bought something daft from one of those late night TV shopping channels or a large company, ring them up to see if there is still time to cancel the order before it is shipped. Using “it was the kids messing around” is usually a better excuse that “I was bladdered”.

And finally… Don’t beat yourself up.

Most places allow returns anyway, so all is not lost – and if, for whatever reason, they don’t – there is always the virtual car boot sale; Ebay to fall back on… or alternatively you can always just tell yourself you’re starting your Christmas shopping early…

21 comments… read them below or add one

Al Penwasser July 5, 2012 at 12:31 pm

While I’ve never bought anything I regretted (except that Beta VCR which sadly I can’t blame on alcohol), I HAVE awakened to find myself with my arms and legs inside of a pillowcase (too big a story to go into here). Surprisingly, my head hurt, too.

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Scarlett July 5, 2012 at 12:33 pm

LOL Al, this is fucking amazing! I have so many questions… x

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Stephanie July 5, 2012 at 11:04 pm

Hmm… I don’t think I’ve ever drunk-and-bought before… I’d be lucky to be able to have enough control of my fingers to type my credit card number in correctly! You must be a highly adjusted, coordinated drunk! :-)

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Scarlett July 6, 2012 at 11:46 am

Haha Stephanie! A lot of practice I guess :) xx

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plantdotty July 5, 2012 at 11:08 pm

Ohhh…just loving this.xxx

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Scarlett July 6, 2012 at 11:46 am

Thanks Plantdotty! x

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Waegook Tom July 6, 2012 at 2:33 am

Hahahahaha this is brilliant! I’ve never heard of “drinking and buying” before – it does sound lethal. I usually just slobber some kebab or chicken kiev pizza down myself and then drop asleep.

Also, I’m loving that you’re into vodka redbulls. We need a night out.

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Scarlett July 6, 2012 at 11:43 am

We definitely need a night out Tom. Yeah, it’s always a treat when packages from etsy.com turn up 3 weeks after a heavy night out and yu have no idea how the fuck they got here! xx

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Kelly July 6, 2012 at 3:56 pm

Ohhhh… I’ve done a little of that in my day…

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Scarlett July 6, 2012 at 3:58 pm

Glad I’m not the only one Kelly :) xx

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Kris July 6, 2012 at 4:16 pm

Now that you’ve put the idea in my head I think I’ll likely end up buying ridiculous things while drunk. I usually just text/Facebook regrettable things. (I love that you also drink vodka red bulls!)

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Scarlett July 10, 2012 at 9:09 am

Urgh me too,all this new technology only serves to give me more sent messages I have to cringe over on a Sunday morning! x

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Becki | BackpackerBecki July 9, 2012 at 10:03 am

I used to have friends at Uni who did this all the time. I’m never ina fit state to use a PC, let alone be aware of how to buy something 😛

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Becki | BackpackerBecki July 9, 2012 at 10:03 am

I used to have friends at Uni who did this all the time. I’m never in a fit state to use a PC, let alone be aware of how to buy something 😛

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Scarlett July 10, 2012 at 9:08 am

I once bought one of those horrible Uni hoodie a night at the union. £40 to look like a dick for three years! x

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Elle July 9, 2012 at 7:43 pm

One night I got absolutely tanked at the bar. I got home, ripped off all of my clothes and laid my happy, naked ass on my bed and whipped out my lap top. I made the mistake of logging into Living Social or Groupon. They had a special for Brazilian waxes. I lifted up my laptop to give my area a quick peak. Click. Purchased.

The next morning I woke up, checked my email and had a confirmation of my purchase. I couldn’t help but laugh!

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Scarlett July 10, 2012 at 9:07 am

LMAO!! Elle, I love you! x

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Holly M. July 17, 2012 at 10:33 am

I remember a night sometime ago in which me and my friend spoke of our desire to travel while sipping a few cocktails (which escalated into many cocktails). My friend friend rang me when she woke up to find she was on the check-out page of some airline company about to buy around the world tickets. Due to our financial situation at the time it was just as well she hadn’t pressed purchase, but at the same time I wish she had as I’ve always wanted to do it and haven’t been pushed to yet.

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Scarlett July 17, 2012 at 11:24 am

Wow Holly that would be the ultimate Drink and Buy!! You need to drink a few too many cocktails again! xx

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The Blonde July 19, 2012 at 2:01 pm

Your site is hilarious and useful at the same time – love it! I have had my most shocking online purchase experiences after taking an Ambien (sleeping pill) and, after my memory has exited my body, but I’m still awake. Before I take one I shut everything electronic down before I take the pill. That hasn’t solved everything but at at least now I don’t do more than a poorly spelled text to some friend which is embarrassing, but free!

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Scarlett July 19, 2012 at 2:06 pm

Haha oh GOD what a nightmare! I’d love to know what you bought! Thanks lovely x

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