holidays

It’s that time of year again; the time when thousands of 18 year old Brits end their school lives and celebrate “coming of age” by spending all their 18th birthday money on watered down sambuca shots on one of the many Malia/Magaluf-esque holiday destinations.

It’s also around this time of year that hundreds of us 20-something’s, (clinging desperately onto our youth by our ageing little fingernails) head to the exact same places.

This is all, of course, under the pretence that we’re “going to a quieter, classier hotel” and it’s “only to enjoy a bit of sun and ‘mates time’ “ – a pretence that disappears almost immediately as we find ourselves heading to the strip to drink fishbowl cocktails with a gang of strangers dressed like smurfs…

(…as demonstrated by my best mate above. This wasn’t even on holiday… just your average Wednesday night.)

Anyway, back to the enigmatic 18-30s holidays…

A rite of passage; like losing your virginity – only losing your virginity is probably easier to cope with on an emotional level… and, in all fairness, a lads holiday is probably the best shot some 18 year old’s have at losing their virginity.

I’d like to think six years on from leaving school and jetting off on my first girls getaway, that I’ve become wiser, more level headed and less of a hormonal wreck.

I’m probably wrong, of course, but for the sake of this post let’s just humour me shall we.

I can’t really give much advice on how to get through a lads holiday, (to be honest if the horror stories my boyfriend fondly relates back of 2 weeks of football chants and shitting in pint glasses are anything to go by, I would advise against one at all costs) but, as a seasoned veteran of girls holidays, I might be able to help…

The Scarlett Guide to… Surviving a Girls Holiday

Avoiding Arguments…

To put it simply, you can’t. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news but in all likelihood - you will argue. This doesn’t mean that you’re all “complete bitches”, or that “these hoes don’t give a shit about friendship” – or any other outlandish accusations that might get thrown around in the heat of the moment. However close you are, being in a confined space with the same group of people 24/7 for two weeks is going to be a shock to the system. Add the the fact that you’re going to be hot, hungover, probably burnt and all wanting to do different things… you’re bound to get a bit of bickering. The good news is, there are some things you can do to make sure any unnecessary beef is kept at bay…

1) Make sure everyone gets to call the shots at some point.

If someone is desperate to go to a particular bar or do an activity, suck it up and let them – it means that you get to be selfish and pick something you want to do another day without guilt. Keep your demands within reason though; like don’t expect the whole party to traipse to a dump of a club because you fancy the barman, unless you plan on at least buying everyone a shot – it’s a girls holiday remember.

2) Back off

If you sense someone start to become narky and dickish, don’t jump in there all guns blazing to tell them – it’s only going to wind them up more. Think about how you get when you’re all burnt and hungover – I bet you’re no picnic to be around either. So, back off and let them stew it out on their own for a while. Or better yet be an amazing friend and wordlessly present them with an ice cold, double vodka an orange and some after sun – they will soon snap out of it.

Don’t take yourself too seriously…

There is nothing worse than going away with an uptight girl who refuses to get in any photos unless they’ve spent 3 hours getting ready, won’t get in the pool in case their hair gets wet or stresses out at every opportunity. Do not be this girl!

If you really don’t want any photos taken without make up on, put on a pair of Paris Hilton sunglasses to cover your face.

Also, 18-30 holidays are like bait for gangs of lads, leading the march with shit football chants and obnoxious attempts to get your attention. As long as their not forcing themselves on you, they’re harmless – so don’t get wound up when they start singing “get your rat out for the lads”.

(18 was a particularly classy age for me, as you can see.)

Make a journal

We did this on my second girls holiday and it’s still possibly one for the funniest books that I have in my possession. Buy an empty notepad and leave it out so it’s easy for people to write/stick paraphernalia in, whatever time of day. The drunk rambling and the declarations of love are possibly the funniest parts – plus it’ll remind you of all the funny incidents and how amazingly hilarious you all were in ten years time.

(Have you ever seen a more depressed cave girl?)

Remember, it’s a GIRLS holiday

A girls holiday should be about just that – girlie time. It’s understandable if the single ones out of you want to pull on a night out – but your nights shouldn’t revolve around finding lads or meeting up with other people. If you are going out to meet up with some guys, make sure you have girlie time too. Go for a meal, or sit on your balcony together eating pot noodles if you’re strapped for cash. Just make sure you spend the time together – you don’t get this opportunity back.

Stay together

This one is the most important and should go without saying, but make sure you all stick together! Girls alone are vulnerable. Drunk girls alone are really vulnerable. Know your limits, put money aside for cab fare and (I don’t care however much of a dick their being) never leave anyone on their own – I don’t want to see any of your faces on the news this year please.