So last week I turned 24…
…and, as me and the girls were celebrating by
downing tequila slammers and laughing about the messed up stuff we used to get up to in school sipping sparkling wine in a ladylike fashion and discussing the state of the economy, it suddenly dawned on me that some of the incidents we were talking about happened over seven years ago.
Seven years. It barely seems like yesterday that I was trying to my whole wardrobe to find the perfect outfit to “make me look 18”.
So it got me thinking how much has changed over that time – and what would I do differently?
Honestly, I wouldn’t change a thing… I had an absolute ball when I was 17! Although I would give the girl I used to be a couple of pointers, just to help her out…
1) Stop worrying about your weight, life’s too short! So, you’ve got a bit of puppy fat at the moment – it’s your age and it’s certainly not something to beat yourself up and be miserable over! …although it’s probably worth cutting out those two large McDonalds strawberry milkshakes you have every day… and perhaps eat a piece of fruit once in a while.
2) If you microwave dry rice, make sure that you add water! This is a very, very important tip, that will save you having to awkwardly explain how you caused a minor, (but terrifying) kitchen fire to your landlords in a couple of years.
3) So, that boy you really fancy… seriously? Don’t you think that, just maybe, he’s actually a total prick? (Who looks like a rat anyway? And is smaller than you? Even though you’re only 5ft2??)
4) People over 23 don’t all “become boring, sensible people whose idea of a fun Saturday night is donning a pair of tracksuit bottoms and having a play at foxy bingo. (Although you will do this on occasion. Only you’ll be drinking vodka and watching Bridget Jones as well. In just your pants. Yeah, you have a lot of classy times to look forward to…)
5) Gin is not your friend.
6) Neither is Whiskey.
7) Remember that boy you drunk “club-snogged” last week? Oh yeah, “total cringe” right?! Hey, funny story… you live with him now.
8 ) “Drop It Like It’s Hot“ is not a good song. Please stop walking around in public singing “Snoooooooooop”.
9) Don’t tell her… but your mum was right about everything! Trust her.
and most importantly…
10) Stop worrying about everything and just enjoy yourself, because you’re never going to get these years back! In seven years time you’re not even going to remember the things you’re getting yourself all worked up over, so just roll with the punches and have fun!
What would you say to the teenage you if you could?