The Accidental Protest And Getting Hit By A Cop…

You know how they say “curiosity killed the cat”? Well I totally empathise with the cat…

Yeah, the cat probably made a few bad decisions in its time, drank too much Tesco-value vodka and crept out on one too many one night stands – but at least it put itself out there with an open mind and desire to experience new things…

 …or maybe it was just a nosey little fucker who didn’t know when to back off.

Either way, I get it. It was that same stupid curiosity that led be to be tangled up in yet another daft situation last weekend…

I’d gone into Brighton on the Saturday of the Jubilee bank holiday to get some food in before the “oh my god the supermarkets are shut for a day I have to buy all the milk” panic set in. There was a surprising amount of police officers milling around, but I just assumed that it was something to do with a street party… until I heard a girl in front of me saying to her friend, “I think he’s watching the protest from over there”.

Protest? My ears pricked up and before I knew it I was shamelessy following her.

After a few blocks, however, I set my new-found stalker-ish sights on new leaders…

I know this is Brighton and all, but the sight of a man with a mo-hawk wearing a dress accompanied by a guy in a tiger onesie, arguing with some coppers is enough to grab anyone’s attention. I was sticking with these two!

I was doing my best to listen in when suddenly the police surrounded us, confining us to a trianglar pen of about 3 square feet. At this point I still had absolutely no idea what was going on, but evidently I was now part of the protest rally whether I liked it or not.

It was only when this sign was shoved into my hand that I breathed a sigh of relief. I might be involuntarily involved in the protest, but at least I was on the right side of the line.

Apparently the English Defence League had planned a demonstation through Brighton a few months ago as an attempt to gain members. The whole charade was put on lock down by the council after so many people in the city had petitioned to stop it from happening. So they planned another visit… and this time it was louder, angrier and generally even more dick-ish than usual.

Anyway, back to the tale… the police who had penned us in seemed to disperse as a group of around 20 EDL members headed towards us screaming obscenities and that’s where things started to get weird:

People started running in all directions, with the majority heading towards the large grassy area outside Brighton’s Old Steine. So – proving once again that I really need to stop and think things through before jumping in head first – I ran alongside my new dread-lock adorned friends…

…only to find I was suddenly charging towards a group of around 60 pissed off looking, EDL skin heads. Where a brawl had begun to break out.

You know in films where things start to go in slow motion and there’s epic music blasting out? That’s what this felt like.

Shit had started to get real and suddenly I actually felt a bit nervous. 

People were screaming, the police were running around trying to break things up and I had absolutely no intention of getting into a brawl with a 50 year old man with “English ‘Til I Die” tattooed on the back of his head, (and no doubt a whole host of swastikas tattoos underneath his wife-beater vest) . So I turned on my heel and ran…

 …and that’s when I felt a sharp pain on my head and I fell to the ground.

To be continued.

Right now. 

It turns out, in my pathetic plight to escape, I’d ran straight into the path of around 20 policemen headed to break up the fight. One of which had caught the side of my head as he waved to his co-workers to cover him.

So there I was, lying on the ground covered in grass stains, my oh-so-cute Alice in Wonderland-esque bow now a mangled mess and my mascara streaming down my face.


But there was no time to stop and think about why I always find myself in these ridiculous situations, because I was scooped up and herded along with the rest of the protesters.

The rest of the rally was a lot more organised; the police had finally managed to group the various factions of EDL members together and now had around 100 officers surrounded them as they marched along the street. Of course, that didn’t stop them from hurling abuse, trying to break through and (I kid you not here) actually making the nazi salute! Such a good move considering the amount of press there…

As they headed up the main high street it was amazing to see the sheer amount of people opposing their demonstation. Practically the entire street; from shoppers to people in restaurants, dropped what they were doing to gather outside, to stand together as a community who are against racism, prejudice, bullies and … and – perhaps most importantly  – shit tattoos combined with wife-beater tank tops.

19 comments… read them below or add one

Ian June 18, 2012 at 11:15 am

You live such a boring life, you really do need to get out more……..perhaps join a knitting circle ;-)?

Hope the bow survived the beating :-)

And seriously, it’s not fin getting caught up in those sorts of things, but it does give you a different perspective on what the boys (and girls) in blue do during them! Glad you’re ok


Scarlett June 18, 2012 at 11:23 am

Haha! Thanks Ian. The bow was a bit mangled but it’s recovering xx


Mummy | Stealing Mummy's Mascara June 18, 2012 at 4:53 pm

HAHA! This is so funny – what crazy outfits! How do you get yourself in these situations?xx


Scarlett June 18, 2012 at 4:54 pm

I wish I could tell you! The mohawk-dress combination was definitely my favourite! x


Keith G June 18, 2012 at 6:46 pm

You say you don’t know how you get into these situations, but you didn’t HAVE to follow the tiger and the tranny… For the record, I think you’re adorable :) Keith x


Scarlett June 18, 2012 at 6:47 pm

I suppose you’re right Keith. Thanks lol xx


Elle June 18, 2012 at 6:51 pm

You know… I’m a little disappointed in your wardrobe selection on this adventure. Is an Alice-in-Wonderlandesque bow the best thing that you could come up with? 😉 What a random freaking story girl!


Scarlett June 18, 2012 at 6:53 pm

Haha I know, I should have been wearing some sort of mad hatter styled top hat just to fit in! It was so bizarre! xx


plantdotty June 18, 2012 at 10:13 pm

Hahahahaha…I love this. I get into the same types of…ermmm…scrapes….muddles….situations.x


Scarlett June 19, 2012 at 9:07 am

Haha, glad to know I’m not the only one Plantdotty xx


ShimonZ June 19, 2012 at 2:11 pm

and… were you able to get into a discussion of values with the members of EDL? I’m sure that could be interesting…


Scarlett June 19, 2012 at 2:16 pm

That was, of course, top of my list Shimon – they didn’t seem in a “discussing” mood though I’m afraid… lol x


Andrew Patterson June 24, 2012 at 1:02 pm

Scarlett dear, you really should think things through. :-p

Yes, everyone should protest Douchebaggery and stupidity in all its forms. We have people like that here in the states. Some of them have managed to squeak in under the title of “religious organization”. This group travels the country protesting everything, including funerals. Saying that people are dying because God hates homosexuals (they use a different term). These EDL blokes sound about the same…ok, maybe more skinheadish, but the hate is the same.

Sorry your cute bow got smashed. Glad you are ok though.


Scarlett June 24, 2012 at 1:04 pm

Lol thanks Andrew! It’s ridiculous the things that some of these thugs believe in – people need to stand up to the bullies xx


Denis June 24, 2012 at 1:29 pm

hahaha gold. loose goose. curious cats. mongrol dogs. love it!!


Scarlett June 24, 2012 at 5:15 pm

Lol Denis..? x


Waegook Tom June 25, 2012 at 3:53 pm

HAHAHAHA this is brilliant! Keep up with the hilarious posts!

On a more serious note, glad to see that people from the local community came out in unison to unite against those arseholes.


Scarlett June 25, 2012 at 4:04 pm

Thanks tom! They really are arseholes – and in such a stereotypical way too! xx


Jeremy July 30, 2012 at 12:35 am

Look liked a wild experience. Cops out in full force!


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