March 22, 2014 in Category Brighton,Scarlett Adventures...,UK

The harrowing babies of Snooper’s Paradise.

Last weekend I made a cameo appearance back in Brighton for the first time since I left 18 months ago.

The weekend was fabulous, thanks very much for asking. I might even write a post about how fabulous it was. But in the meantime there are much more pressing things to discuss; namely some of the absolutely bizarre things sold at Brighton’s famous ‘Snooper’s Paradise’

For those of you who’ve never been, Snoopers Paradise is a huge flea-market type shop in Brighton’s North Laines that basically sells the things that other people don’t want cluttering up their house anymore, or things that have nowhere to go when people die – just think how much of your crap might end up somewhere like that, depressing isn’t it? Anyway it means that it is filled with a whole mess of stuff that is simultaneously both amazing and creepy.

One of the things it’s never short of is terrifying dolls. You know the type that you find in a dark corner of the attic when you move into a new house but are too scared to throw away in case they crawl out of their land-fill grave and kill you in your sleep?

But as I was wandering round, (in awe of how many absolutely demonic looking dolls there are just in Brighton, let alone the rest of the world) it occurred to me that these horrific items were probably once very important to some little kid. Who might be dead now. And that made me sad… and a bit freaked out. So I started taking pictures – which, naturally, got out of hand quickly – and now I have all these fucked up photos on my phone that I don’t know what to do with.

So here it is; the definitive ranking of terrifying baby dolls on my phone. You are welcome.

8.

scary baby doll

Whilst the disembodied head is pretty creepy on its own, my bigger concern lies with the jar of taxidermied ducklings behind it – and why they’re going at a rate of £12 each.

7.

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This one looks like one of the cannibal toys you’d find in Sid’s Bedroom in Toy Story.

6.

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They say that if you stare into those cold dead eyes for more than 10 seconds, bloody Mary appears in your bedroom in the middle of the night.

4.

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The going rate for this character from Tim Burton’s wet dream, is £120. £120 of pure horror.

3.

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A perfect present for any traveler; a framed, vintage map… with a couple of baby’s arms glued onto it.

2.

20140315_150639(0)It was a close call, but disembodied baby legs definitely beat arms to the punch in the horrifying stakes.

I also asked behind the desk, and they said they’d do me a special deal if I wanted to buy the set. So at least I know where to get a reasonably priced birthday present for someone I hate now.

1.

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And the winner of tonight’s terrifying doll awards goes to this little minion of Satan above. The worst thing about this one, except for the fact that it exists at all, is the fact it was probably bought for a young child. A young child that probably grew into a very troubled adult who’z ightmares are still haunted by their childhood doll.

Good luck sleeping tonight… x

16 comments… read them below or add one

Katie March 22, 2014 at 2:45 pm

Why would you sell stuff like this, but worse WHY would you buy stuff like this?

Katie <3

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Scarlett March 24, 2014 at 7:41 am

Haha, it’s msd some of the stuff people buy x

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Lady Jewels Diva March 24, 2014 at 12:26 am

Baby doll stuff always give me the creeps, especially those with the eyes that roll back into their head.

Love flea markets, we call them markets or trash and treasure (one man’s trash is another’s treasure), although there aren’t too many depending on which state of Aus you live in.

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Scarlett March 24, 2014 at 7:42 am

I love flea markets too, you never know what you might find x

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Gorilla Bananas March 24, 2014 at 7:34 am

I think the last baby is trying to impersonate Elvis Presley. You’re right that it doesn’t look suitable for a child. Maybe a pregnant women used it to practice how to breastfeed or something.

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Scarlett March 24, 2014 at 7:43 am

Maybe – enough to put you off conceiving though x

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Addman March 24, 2014 at 2:01 pm

Number 1 looks like it’s having an out of body experience. Perhaps it is fading into another plane of existence into which it can feed on your life essence without being disturbed.

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Scarlett March 24, 2014 at 6:56 pm

That’s the most terrifying sentence that’s ever been written. x

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abeerfortheshower March 24, 2014 at 3:29 pm

Wow, this is all fantastic. I can just imagine someone putting those to good use.

“Captain, where do we sail now?”
“Yarrrr, according to these baby arms, we need to go due north for half an elbow.”

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Scarlett March 24, 2014 at 6:04 pm

Hahaha definitely! x

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Jess @UsedYorkCity March 25, 2014 at 10:18 am

I would like to think that dolls got a lot less creepier with modern day generations, but then I reflect on the Teletubbies, and think, “ehh, not so much.”

Love these photos, Scarlett!:-)

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Scarlett March 25, 2014 at 11:23 am

Haha, you’re so right! x

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Mike March 26, 2014 at 2:27 am

Oh lordy, Scarlett, I absolutely do not like freaky lookin dolls. When my parents took me to stay at my grandmother’s house as a little boy. There was this huge picture above the bed of a little kid with huge eyes that just stared out. I HATED that bedroom and they still made me sleep in there. I have a buddy at work who can not stand clowns, and I would like to put one of these dolls in his locker hee hee. Great post! :)

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Scarlett March 26, 2014 at 7:38 am

Urgh sounds terrifying. I absolutely hate clowns too, my mum had a couple of china clowns that I was so scared of that in the end she told me she’d thrown them away. Then about a year later I found them – just after I’d been reading Night of the Living Dummy. Needless to say there was a lot of sleepless nights in the house after that x

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Toni March 26, 2014 at 6:53 pm

I literally don’t know how I feel about this or words that I should I use lol x

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Scarlett March 27, 2014 at 11:58 am

Me neither girl x

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