I kissed a girl and I liked it.

So I necked for a girl at the weekend.

Does that count as cheating? Let me take you back a little…

Friday night I was out with the girls and, like clockwork, midnight chimed in and I was possessed by an insatiable craving for dancing, 90’s pop music and things covered in glitter – and the good thing about living in Brighton is that none of these things are ever more than a short walk away.

So off we headed to the Gay district of Kemptown. By the empty shot glasses, (and the fact two of my friends had already taken off and stashed their shoes) it was clear that we were on the proverbial bender. Ten mins later we’re on the dancefloor belting out the lyrics to One Direction. Good music, not assed.

Somewhere amidst the chaos, I felt the fingers of a small blonde girl link with mine whilst we we’re dancing – which considering a gay lad had been braiding my hair at the bar ten minutes before wasn’t really shocking. What was shocking was when she stuck her tongue down my throat about thirty seconds later.

What I should have said was:

  • “I’m sorry, I’m not actually gay”
  • “I’m sorry, I’ve got a boyfriend”

But I’m only 24 so fuck it, I’ll try anything once. Twice if I like it.

The rest of the night continued as normal… one of my friends fell over taking a table of drinks with her while my other mate screamed Christina Aguilera’s “Beautiful” into the karaoke machine and ruined everyone’s night. Pretty standard.

2am rolled round, and we flagged down a couple of cabs, and being the only one out of the four of us who lived in the complete opposite direction I climbed into one alone..

So there I am, explaining to Mr Taxi Man the quickest route to my flat and I heard the slam of a passenger door, I turn round and there is the little blnde girl just sat in the back of my cab.

“Where are we going?”

Fuck.

“Erm… I’m going home..”

“I know, I’m coming too”

“Errrrrm… not sure my boyfriend will be too keen on that”

“Oh I’m sure I could convince him…”

She had a point like, it would have been much easier at that point to convince my fella to have a three-way with me and a random fitty, than to convince her that she wasn’t coming home with me.

Sorry to ruin the illuaion, but no – I didn’t take her home with me. After twenty minutes of driving around aimlessly because she point-blank refused to tell me her address and £15.30 in cab fare later, I finally dropped her off home. Not before she stuck her head through the car window, surprise-necked me again and shoved a piece of paper with her number on into my hand though.

Whatever, still got it.

Until next time… x

36 comments… read them below or add one

plantdotty March 28, 2012 at 10:55 pm

Love it. Brilliant. lolx

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Scarlett June 13, 2012 at 11:01 pm

Haha! Thanks lovely x

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ShimonZ March 29, 2012 at 5:14 am

Let’s hope that you’ll remember the experience, the next time you consider going to a gay bar…

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Scarlett June 13, 2012 at 11:01 pm

reconsider a gay bar? That would mean sacrifice my social life! Lol x

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Jenny March 29, 2012 at 10:49 am

awww I’m jealous! Next time you go take me 😛

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Scarlett June 13, 2012 at 11:01 pm

I’ll hold you to it Jenny! x

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Gorilla Bananas March 29, 2012 at 11:57 am

She paid you the greatest of compliments, Miss Scarlett. The least you should have done was let her grope you for 60 seconds.

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Scarlett June 13, 2012 at 11:02 pm

Love it! x

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simply paul March 29, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Lol this is very funny and sounds very similar to something that happened to my other half.

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Scarlett June 13, 2012 at 11:02 pm

Tell me more… x

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Marjorie McAtee March 29, 2012 at 3:56 pm

And I thought men were pushy. Geez.

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Scarlett June 13, 2012 at 11:02 pm

Men are easier to bat off!! x

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Cari March 29, 2012 at 6:27 pm

I like all things glitter anytime…and I LOVED my country needs me, hahaha, stealing it:) You never fail to put a smile on my face.

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Scarlett June 13, 2012 at 11:08 pm

Thanks lovely… it works every time xx

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Kurt March 29, 2012 at 9:11 pm

You can sure spin a good tale.

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Scarlett June 13, 2012 at 11:08 pm

I wish these things were fictional Kurt x

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jade March 29, 2012 at 10:03 pm

soooo…did you call her???

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Scarlett June 13, 2012 at 11:07 pm

A text to see if she got in ok… I must go looking for trouble! x

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Stephanie March 30, 2012 at 12:44 am

Jeez. It seems like lesbians are a pretty regular problem for you!

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Scarlett June 13, 2012 at 11:07 pm

LOL! Still got it 😉 xx

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janet March 30, 2012 at 5:16 am

cute! Is that supposed to be a cliffhanger in the end? Is there a part 2?? :)

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Scarlett June 13, 2012 at 11:07 pm

Not to this story… although there is the one where I had to pretend to be my Gay firend’s (boy) girlfriends for a month. That was awkward… x

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Christina Majaski March 30, 2012 at 6:02 pm

hahaha you crack me up. I used to get hit on by lesbians a lot and also bisexuals and their boyfriends. So much so I started to wonder if some kind of Cheaters cam was following me around. Never just got kissed tho because I’m sure I would’ve just acted a complete spaz about it. Unless I was really really drunk of course.

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Scarlett June 13, 2012 at 11:06 pm

LOL!! A ‘truman show’ situation? It’s because you’re damn hot! x

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Conni Biesalski March 31, 2012 at 11:57 am

Are you gonna have a post one day that says “Things I should have said when the heterosexual guy kissed me”?

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Scarlett June 13, 2012 at 11:03 pm

One day… although a post that ends in “then I smacked him in the balls” is never fun! x

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Emme Rogers March 31, 2012 at 8:19 pm

Now that’s funny. And one situation I am proud, yet surprised not to have wound up in.

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Scarlett June 13, 2012 at 11:05 pm

You will sexy lady, you will x

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Ken April 1, 2012 at 3:11 pm

Did you call her in the morning? You did promise.

Fun story. I put shit like this in the, “Life’s Little Moments” folder. Thanks for sharing.

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Scarlett June 13, 2012 at 11:05 pm

I actually did text to see if she got in OK… I’m a glutton for punishment! x

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Jenn April 3, 2012 at 10:07 am

Too funny! I would have sh*t myself. What do you do when someone won’t take no for an answer?? LOL. Your night sounds like a hoot!

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Scarlett June 13, 2012 at 11:04 pm

Exactly… it seemed worse because she was female… I can deal with pushy men! x

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The Rebel Chick April 5, 2012 at 7:46 pm

My country needs me? LOL! I’ll have to remember that one!

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Scarlett June 13, 2012 at 11:03 pm

LOL xx

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Wandergirl July 17, 2012 at 12:51 pm

Hilarious. This reminds me of my bachelorette party which resulted in my DAD accidentally getting steamy sextings from a lesbian….awkward.

Love the country needs me one. Wonder if that would work on boys too?

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Scarlett July 17, 2012 at 1:07 pm

LMAO I would love to hear this story! x

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