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Once upon a time, (inspired by the series of incredible motion shots I caught of my best friend trying to take a shot of tequila and accidentally throwing it at her eyes) I considered looking at a career in photography…

 …working as a Hair-Fashion PR girl, my experience of the photography industry was little more than a guy with bed-head hair and a lumberjack jacket, turning up to swanky big-city studios to take pictures of hot, scantily clad models, in between eating all the free food.

Turns out being a good photographer is a hell of a lot harder than it looks.

Less than three days into “forming my portfolio” (with the help of a £30, hot-pink, monstrosity of a digital camera I picked up from Tesco) I realised that I had a lot to learn about the art of taking a beautiful picture… and gained a lot of respect for the people who scour the globe for years trying to find that perfect shot.

As you can imagine, my photography career was short lived, (LOL, obviously- I’m shockingly shit) but nevertheless, check out the Top four Scarlett Photos…

“Inspirational Turtle…”

Sorry, but how amazing is this? I swear it wasn’t until I look back over the photos later that day I was finally convinced it wasn’t a mirage.

Taken at Disneyworld, this photo was taken in the aftermath of an  an argument between The Boyfriend and I, about who’s fault it was that we were completely, unmistakably lost…
After walking for 40 minutes in the midday sun, along a path we thought led us to Downtown Disney – a path that gradually got more and more winding and rustic, until we eventually came across a “NO TRESPASSING” sign painted in blood*- we gave up and made the long trek back to the resort.

Panting, burnt and convinced we’d been bitten by snakes, we looked up to see this turtle contemplating it’s little life whilst enjoying the view of the river… we assume.

 ”The Tram Crash…”

This is a prime example of tourism at its worst. What could possibly make the experience of having one of St. Kilda’s famous trams smash the back of your car and push it 3 yards forward… of course, an annoying English girl snapping away with a camera, capturing the whole memory for a lifetime.

“Brighton Beach at Sunset…”

I’m actually quite proud of my crappy Tesco Value camera for this one. Who would have thought a burnt shell of a pier could look so beautiful with a summer’s backdrop?

 …now for the classic National Geographic-worthy shot… 

A photo that needs no explanation. A photo that speaks a thousand words…

“Smackhead on a Train”

*Could have been red ink, I suppose.  

I’m not exaggerating when I tell you I’m a terrible cook…

… it’s actually quite shocking how awful I am.

Nevertheless,  for years I couldn’t shake that niggling feeling that I should be better better cook (society perhaps? Or my grandmother.) so I kept on trying… ignoring the look on my boyfriend’s face when I served up runny scrambled eggs again  and laughing through the humiliation of explaining how I managed to set the microwave on fire – twice.

Until a couple of weeks ago, while I was chopping up garlic to drown out the taste of the meal I was cooking, I realised that life is far too short to chop garlic.

So to all of your fabulous people who love cooking and take pride in your meals… well, this post isn’t for you.

But for the rest of us, the key to hosting any sort of dinner party is “fake it and pretend you made it…”

The Scarlett Guide To… Faking a Dinner Party

Choosing the meal:

All major supermarkets have a range of pre-cooked meals that you can simply throw into an oven and present as your own… the difficult part is getting people to actually believe that it’s your own handiwork. The key is to choose a fancy dish that you can add something to in order to make it seem ‘home-made’. 

Pasta dishes are brilliant for this – say, for example, if you choose a fancy looking lasagne (I bet you’d never heard someone refer to a lasagne as ‘fancy’ have you? That gives you a bit of insight into my daily diet) just throw a bit of cheese onto it to make it look authentic. Enchiladas are another one that you can make your own with a handful of mozzarella - and this one also has the added benefit of allowing you to host a Mexican themed night, where you can distract people with oversized hats and tequila.

Setting the scene: 

When it comes to dinner parties,  the ambience is just as important as the food…

and when I say ‘ambience’ I mean alcohol.

And music.  

That said, it’s still worth lighting a few candles, making the table look pretty and generally titivating your dining room. It’s also a good idea to strategically place a “talking piece” in the room to divert any unwanted questions  that may crop up about how you prepared the meal.

Also, if  your best friend (or mum) has cooked the whole meal for you and dropped it round 10 minutes before the first guests arrives, make sure you remember to put something similar in the oven for an hour before so that the house smells of food - thus creating the illusion that you’ve been slaving in the kitchen for hours, rather than watching re-runs of Girls of the Playboy Mansion in your pants. Cunning, I know! 

Talking the talk

If, god forbid, people do start asking questions about your cooking methods, these little phrases should help to tide you over until you think up a way to move the conversation on:

“Oh that, I marinated it overnight!”

If you’ve cooked any sort of meat or fish with flavour, then this is your staple sentence – just make sure to change the subject before they ask how you made the sauce! Not only do you sound like you know what you’re talking about, but it also gives the impression that you’ve been planning this meal for at least 24 hours, rather than the 6 minutes it took you to wander around Tesco after reading all of the magazines on the way in.

“I find the fresh chilli’s give it that extra bit of flavour”

This one works if you’ve ‘made’ something spicy, and also gives you a brilliant diversion tactic, as you can go on to tell them how you “accidentally touched your eye right after chopping it” – ouch!

“It’s an old family recipe, if I told you I’d have to kill you!”

Try to avoid this one if you can, but if you’re put on the spot and are expected to real off the exact ingredients of your dish, it might be your only option. Just make sure you follow it with a laugh and quickly move on… otherwise you just sound like a dick.

Happy Faking!

 Daintree rainforest is one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen…

Seriously it is… I mean, once I’d got past the initial terror at the various signs warning me about my untimely death by cassowary, being smack bang in the middle of the 140 million year old Australian rainforest was awe inspiring. 

What wasn’t amazing, on the other hand, was Daintree village…

Anyone whose ever been to Cairns will know that it’s a backpacker’s paradise… you can’t move for overflowing bars, people handing out leaflets for cut-price experiences and topless sunbathing.

Now, I might not have been a backpacker, but I’m certainly not one to shun cheap drinks and nakedness when it’s offered to me on a plate. So, when almost everyone I met suggested I stop at Daintree village before venturing into the rainforest for a zipwiring adventure… I assumed it would be pretty much the same, and even considered wearing a bikini under my clothes.

 An idea that was completely laughable when I pulled up here…

You know in the hills have eyes, hostel, shark night… whatever I can’t actually remember which film now…

 …but speaking of Shark Night can anyone who has seen it please clarify; is it actually a film about people who record shark porn?

I digress…

You know in pretty much every horror film ever made, when the hot teenagers pull up at an abandoned gas station to ask directions – only to be greeted by a borderline psychopath, drooling over their supple young flesh and pointing them towards their imminent doom..?

This is what Daintree village felt like to me.

Now before you rain your torrents of abuse down upon me let me just make a couple of points…

1)  I’m not claiming that any psychopaths/murderers/hot teenagers actually live in Daintree village, I’m merely saying that – at that point, if I was going to get murdered, I was pretty sure that’s where it was going to happen.

AND…

2) Shall we just have a quick glance at the ‘poster’ that greeted me on the ‘town noticeboard’…

“Serious!”

Not to mention the “inviting” river cruises…

…and the shrunken heads*:

Anyway, after shovelling my packed lunch down my throat, I left the village and headed off into the Rainforest in one piece…

…but to this day, the mystery of the Daintree cat murderer lives on… 

*Were probably coconuts… probably.

Welcome to the very first Scarlett Pin Up of the Month; a monthly feature, celebrating amazing people and their incredible stories! 

Just as I’d begun to believe that Fairies didn’t exist, I met one…

Introducing May’s Pin-up of the month… the beautiful Naomi – one of the magical Fairylove team!

Describe yourself in three words…

“Fire Fairy Child”

Tell us about Fairylove…

“Fairylove is all about believing; believing in yourself, believing in others, and above all believing in magic in the way you did as a kid. It’s believing in a way that entertains no sense of doubt.
Fairylove is about spreading love joy and magic. It’s about believing that the world is an abundant place, that there is plenty for everyone, and that no one need be left out.

Fairylove is about thinking positively and trying to see the best in every situation.

Fairylove is about making wishes and truly believing that those wishes can and will come true.

Fairylove is about letting go of your fears, it’s about letting go of all that consciously holds you back. It is committing with a deep sense of trust to letting go of your unconscious fears, It’s about release; to be both vulnerable and by the same token be magnificent beyond measure. It’s about shining brightly for all that you are just as you are, and perfect as you are.

Fairylove is about dressing up and expressing a magical side of your self. It’s allowing your self to shine on the inside, and showing it on the outside for all the world to see and be inspired by. It’s about discovering or rediscovering your sense of fun, colour and confidence.

Fairylove is the name of our enterprise but we also believe that fairylove is a verb, it is a doing word. It’s a way that we can express ourselves into the world. Whether you are fat or thin, young or old, rich or poor you can be in the here and now and make a conscious choice about how you want your life to be. That is the challenge of Fairylove, the challenge we face and the challenge we invite you to share with us.

Fairylove is our journey and it is our invitation for you try on a pair of wings, put on a tutu and dare to fly free.”

How did you become a Fairy?

“A very special magical friend (who I’ve been through some wonderful transformations with), found that Fairylove were recruiting, and having visited the stall at festivals before I just thought ‘wow…’

Around the time I applied I was still going through some peculiar transitions in my life but I just felt this strong cosmic force encouraging me to pursue being a Fairy with my every fibre, and to embark on a life-changing summer of pure magic.

It was amazing when I first met the Fairy King and Queen. It was like meeting family members I knew were out there somewhere but hadn’t met yet.

I was diagnosed as having malignant tumour around this time which had put a lot of things into perspective for me. Thankfully it was a low level cancerous tumour and it was removed successfully, leaving me with a very wonky looking face but a grateful and blessed smile in my heart.

I was a bit worried at first, on occasions, about putting myself in such a position to-be-looked-at, but knew, with the help of a lot of love and support from the Fairies, that this didn’t matter and to focus on the bigger picture.

We are all so beautiful and I am ever blessed in so many wonderful ways!”

What’s been the best part about being a Fairy?

“Wow, there are so many! I think the best Fairy experience still has to be meeting a very under-confident lady at Glastonbury 2010, who thought I was bonkers for being a half-naked fairy in the sun up a podium, dancing, granting wishes and blowing bubbles! She told me she didn’t think she had the confidence for that, but after a bit of persuasion, she got dressed up and danced her socks off and you could visibly see her blossom!

The following year she visited the stall again and said the experience had really changed and enlightened her… and helped her to fly!

In general, the best part about being a Fairy is giving and manifesting… being the change you want to see in the world is one of the greatest gifts Fairylove has given to me.”

Have you had any bad experiences?

“There aren’t really any negative experiences! Some people find us a little intimidating being naked and all… and some girls maybe don’t like it – but when we spread the love and magic and talk to them about what we’re doing, people just want to shine too and experience the same freedom.”

What would you say to someone who wanted to find the Fairy inside of them?

“It is the most wonderful, liberating and enlightening experience! Unleash your inner fairy and fly free.

Rock everything that God gave ya!”

Don’t forget to stop and say Hi to Naomi and the rest of the Fairies at their stall at any of the UK festivals this summer! But if you’re fairy needs can’t wait, don’t forget to check out Fairylove online

You know those people who say things like “Oh I’m so hungover I’ve not even been able to eat all day” or “I drank so much last night I’ve slept all day”…

…Yeah, I hate those people… mainly because I wish I was one of them.

Instead, after a night of drinking I don’t wake up at all… instead a horrible creature wakes up in my place at some god forsaken hour of the morning and uses my body to tear round the house in search of any sort of carbohydrate in site.

After downing around 2 litres of orange juice and eating half a loaf of bread, 5 chocolate hobnobs and a pot noodle she finally rests… leaving me to pick up the pieces, and deal with the sickness for the rest of the day.

But there has to be a better way to cure a hangover than binge-eating your way to a day of food induced comatose… 

 The Scarlett Guide to… Curing a Hangover

1) Drink a pint of water before you go to bed… or at least keep one on your bedside table to help ease that horrible ‘dry mouth’ you can look forward to in the morning.

One of the main reasons that your hangover is hurting so badly is because you’re dehydrated, so a pint of water before you go to bed should help to ease those feelings that you’re facing your ultimate death.

Of course, this remedy is really subject to where you pass out. For example, if you’re the type of person who passes out after a few drinks and is renowned for wetting yourself, I wouldn’t suggest downing a pint of water if you’re sleeping on your mate’s floor.

This is also not recommended if you’re planning on sleeping in a public toilet.

2) Caffeine 

Any actual health and fitness website will tell you that downing pint after pint of coffee and diet coke is the worst thing you can possibly do, that “you’re only dehydrating yourself further”.

Well, I’m sorry, but they’re talking shit.

Don’t get me wrong, I don’t doubt that you’ll be dehydrating yourself… but it’s so, so worth it!

First of all, considering you’ve got the mother of all hangovers, I’m going to hedge my bets and guess that you’re probably not the most health conscious person out there – so I’m glad you came here instead of  subjecting yourself to their torturous methods…

And secondly, have you ever had an ice cold diet coke on the morning of a hangover? Because it is, quite literally, the best thing in the world!

Sex… Money… Christmas? You name it, and I will tell you right now, that first drop of diet coke falling onto your parched, hungover tongue, will beat all of them hands down.

3) Hair of The Dog

I know that waking up with a tongue like sandpaper and a splitting headache will make you wish for death before another tequila shot, but that’s exactly why Bloody Mary’s were invented!

The high salt content and excess of vitamins from the tomato juice and celery is exactly what you’re body is crying out for… and although those healthy sites will tell you that the vodka in it is merely acting as a “cushion” – making you’re body deal with the alcohol put in front of it, rather than the amount you consumed last night… Well to those people, I ask this question; don’t we all need a cushion on a hangover day?

Trust me! 

And if all that fails…

…you know you want to!

I’m not really a “happy camper” sort of girl…

I mean, I love getting stuck into my garden, or exploring the nature of a new country – I just prefer to do it in the knowledge that my hair straighteners, a hot shower and preferably a pina colada are waiting for me back at my hotel room.

That and the fact I’m fucking terrified of spiders.

So in a desperate attempt to become more “outdoorsy” before I go camping in Cornwall with Pitchup in Summer, I made a flying visit to the Lake district to get closer to nature…

Anyway, as I was wandering around Ambleside…

(that sentence has started “The Wombles of Wimbledon” off playing in my head. Excellent.)

Sorry, as I was saying… I was mooching around when I came across a gorgeous gypsy caravan… 

For all I know the occupants could have been that prick from My Big Fat Gypsy Weddings, or some one of the show’s stars getting ready to “grab” me… but, what a beautiful sight in such a quaint little town!

Until this happened…

Yes, that is a traffic warden… giving a horse a ticket!

Talk about ruining someone’s day!