November 2017

Office Christmas parties get a lot of stick. There’s literally guide after guide on the internet damning them and warning you not to drink more than two drinks at the risk of club-necking your boss and calling Linda from HR a ‘biscuit-inhaling jobsworth’. But, unless your job is particularly horrendous, chances are you actually have a couple of cool co-workers that you’ve been ‘out-out’ with before.

But whilst you’ve probably enjoyed a cocktail with a select few, hanging out with the entire office is a different story. Office Christmas parties are the night where dickheads make uninvited advances and nice girls get too drunk and sent home. But, since you’re reading this blog, let’s assume that you’re not a dickhead and you’ve already mastered the art of acting sober when you’re actually bladdered, and want to enjoy all the top shelf spirits your company’s open bar can buy you. So with that in mind, here’s how to survive the office Christmas do:

Dress appropriately

Just because it’s a work do doesn’t mean you have to turn up in a full pants suit because you don’t want your boss to think you’re a slut. If anyone thinks badly of you for showing a bit of leg at Christmas then let them, and congratulations on your promotion and/or sexual harassment lawsuit settlement in advance.

That said, the best way to kill it at your office Christmas party is to dress for your personality but remember it’s either cleavage or leg – not both.

Because, contrary to popular belief, I like to be helpful, I did some important, prosecco-fuelled research – and have decided that Very is my winner when it comes to party wear this Christmas. They have a whole range of gorgeous party dresses that will you have you looking like the classy, bad bitch that you are – just look at Michelle Keegan wearing Very here, what an angel.  

very party dresses

Take advantage of the paparazzi

One of the best things about office parties, besides the open bar, is the fact that it’s the one night out a year for a lot of people, and they want to document it with photos. Even better, if you work for a big company, they might actually shell out for a photo booth or a professional photographer. Take full advantage and get yourself a new profile photo. That should hold you over until New Years.

best friends selfie

Keep any hook-ups on the down low

As a rule, it’s never a good idea to hook up with your colleagues at the Christmas do – but if you decide to ignore that and go ahead and clubneck your work crush, don’t do it in front of everyone. The last thing you need is everybody gossiping about it when you’re hungover AF the next day.

Also, if a manager or director starts trying to flirt, try to keep it classy and friendly, (provided they don’t cross a line.) They’ll probably give you a pay raise because you were so sound about how gross they were.

office christmas party gifs

Drink, but always make sure someone is drunker than you

And finally, enjoy yourself. Have a drink, have a dance, have a weird toilet heart-to-heart with your female boss about how she’s empowering you – just make sure that someone else is always drunker than you.

office christmas funny blog

Until next time… x


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