I’m writing this from my car in Maccies car park; I’m drinking a large caramel frappe and tagging every baby I see on Facebook as Verne Troyer.
The army gets more done before 9am than most people do in a day? Hardly.
I’m not usually so keen for sugar before 11am, (lie, I’m always keen) but tomorrow I’m embarking on GIVE kitchen’s 22 day vegan challenge to give myself the kick up the arse I need to get back to the grind and shift some of the relationship weight that is slowly starting to creep over my thighs.
Relationship weight; you don’t notice it at first because you’re too busy being happy, eating and having loads of sex. Then, as if out of nowhere, you wake up one morning and your jeans are a bit tight, you arse has dropped an inch in perkiness and… what the fuck, is that the start of bingo wings??
Anyway, as a huge fan of trying something new – or, as my mum likes to call it, “Oh you’re not going on another mad one are you, Jesus Christ why do you always have to take things to the extreme” – I’ve decided to follow in Beyonce’s footsteps and try a completely plant-based, vegan diet for 22 days. Because, quite frankly, if it’s good enough for the Queen, it’s good enough for me.
So, the real question is, do I eat this large filet o’fish meal with extra cheesy bites now? Or do I, at least, take my ‘before’ photos first?
Wish me luck… x
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