The internet is full of really helpful specific guides on what to pack for your first ski or snowboarding holiday. In fact, if you use Pinterest in the way that it’s meant to be used – unlike myself, who uses it exclusively to torture myself with pictures of fitness models after falling off the wagon head first into an ocean of mozzarella sticks and regret – you will find literal, step by step photo blogs telling you, not only what clothes you need to pack, but how to pack them for space saving benefits.
Shout out to these brilliant, organised humans by the way, who help the chronically inept who, like me, exclusively pack for holidays semi-drunk two hours before they’re due at the airport – I applaud you all.
Anyway, thanks to my un-diagnosed adult ADD I don’t have the resolution or, quite frankly, the desire to write a thorough list of every item you need for your upcoming jaunt to the Alps, or wherever else your snow toys might be taking you. So if that’s what you’re here for I suggest you return to Pinterest or that strange phenomenon ‘Yahoo Answers’ used by people who don’t understand Google.
But, because I’m a giver, here is a really important list of the things you’ll probably forget but you’ll 100% wish you didn’t.
- Some really loud speakers. For accommodation raves.
- A hip flask. Not only a good bonding strategy with new mates on a chairlift, but after rinsing your spends at the après-ski bar on the first day – because they can basically charge whatever they want for a bottle of corona knowing you’ll pay it – you’ll soon realise that bar is outside anyway, so you can sit on the snow half a foot away away and have pretty much the same experience for half the price.
- Flip flops. With everyone traipsing snow in and out all day, the boot room can gets pretty wet by the end of the day. Keep your socks dry and take flip flops to walk back into the hotel in for when you take your boots off.
- Sun cream. Goggle marks might seem funny in the alps, they’re less so when you’re back at you’re 9-5.
- A battery pack. iPhones are notoriously shit for holding battery. At altitude they’re even worse. Make sure you don’t miss out on any crucial selfie ops by taking a battery pack.
- Condoms. What happens in the mountains stays in the mountains – just don’t take any issues back home with you. Plus, snowboarders are hot.
- Lemsips. You’re going to fall over. A lot, probably. Don’t worry about it though, if you’re not falling you’re not getting better. But stave of any flu signs with some preemptive lemsips. In fact, lash a bit of vodka in the blackcurrant one.
- Two pairs of gloves. One pair will always be wet, and the last thing you want is frostbite before you’ve even made it to the chairlift.
And here are some things you absolutely don’t need:
6 inch heels. Not only will you look like a dick but you’ll be rendered useless in the snow.
Ballet pumps. There’s a chance you might wear them. Once, to the hotel bar. And pretend your toes aren’t cold. Then you’ll wear your boots for the remainder of the holiday. Save the packing space and leave them at home.
Half the clothes you’ve packed. You’re going to spend the week in either your snowboard gear, jeans, some boots and various jumpers. But everyone finds their own style with they’re out there, so you’re going to have to figure this one out for yourself.
Until next time… x