How to be maid of honour

Dreadful news: your best mate is in love. Not only that, but she’s also deliriously happy about it and wants to throw a £15,000+ party to celebrate it.

You can say goodbye to those cute ‘date night’ Instagram posts of the two of you every cocktail Monday – you know, the ones where you put the two girls holding hands emoji? And, while you’re at it, cancel all those Saturday’s scoping for talent at the coffee shop that conveniently overlooks the footy pitch – she’s going to be at Ikea arguing over light fixtures.

This is all tongue in cheek. Of course you’re fucking happy for her. (You’re probably also happy to be asked to be bridesmaid, don’t worry, that will pass.) I mean, in a time of ghosting and Tinder it’s great to see the people you love smiling.

But let’s get one thing straight; being chief bridesmaid/maid of honour/the bride’s best mate/whatever you want to call it is a hard graft, however much you love weddings – and you need to be prepared for this. So here’s a few tips to make sure you don’t fuck it up.

how to be a good bridesmaid

Get on top of the immeasurable fucking admin of it all

Do you have any idea how much planning goes in to organising a big white wedding? You do? Well double what you’ve got in you head.

It’s not just a case of picking a dress and a venue, there are all sorts of tiny decisions along the way that you may think are irrelevant, but you are wrong. They’re actually the most important decision you will ever make. And you need to be on hand at all times to help make sure it’s is the right one.

Case in point: before you’ve even thought about dresses you’re going to have to help pick out a ‘Save the Date’ card. Have you heard of these things? They’re like the pre-game of invitations, that tell guests to keep some distant weekend in the future free from plans – as if anyone ever make plans that far ahead anyway.

Let’s be clear though; this is NOT the official invitation you’re helping to pick out. You’ve still go that whole sorry saga to look forward to. This is just the card that says, “heyyyyy guys, can you all please ensure that you refrain from spending Friday-Sunday doing drugs, mainly alone but occasionally with others, and spend a lot of money to sweat up on a rented chair and watch us celebrate our love.”

Whatever you do, don’t you dare put your phone on aeroplane mode – even for a second.

funny wedding blogs

Plan the hen do

As maid of honour it falls on you to plan your mate’s hen do, which will be fun right?


The problem with planning something of this magnitude is 1) it has to be perfect and amazing but 2) it can’t cost too much.

I mean, it’s all well and good to plan a girls weekend in Marbella, with beds in Ocean Club and bottle service at the Funky Buddha. But getting deposits, (let alone full amounts) from 15+ women – each with their own lives, summer plans and monthly outgoings – is a whole different story.

There’s no easy way round this task, but all I will say is; make sure you’re clear about budget from day one, and don’t expect everyone to be able to fork out a fortune! Also, please god don’t plan something unbearable, (that your mate will probably hate) just because the world say’s it’s ‘perfect for a hen do’. Nobody wants to see grown ass women tackle a cheerleading class. Trust me.

hen do planning blog

Dressed: know when to speak up and shut up

Let’s be really clear about this: It. Doesn’t. Matter. If. You. Hate. Your. Dress. It’s. Not. Your. Wedding. I don’t care if you’re dressed in some ‘Violet after she ate one of Willy Wonka’s chewing gum’s’ cupcake horror show. You smile and deal with it.

On the other hand, you need to be really honest with your mate when it comes to picking out her dress. She might have her heart set on a ballgown number… but if she looks less of a princess and more of an extra from My big Fat Gypsy Wedding, you need to tell her the truth. She mightn’t like the honesty at first, she might call you a bitch, she might even throw a shoe at you – but it’s your job to make sure she looks amazing!

wedding blog funny

Good luck… and don’t fuck it up xx

1 comment… read it below or add one

Lucy Clarke June 27, 2017 at 8:55 pm

This post made me laugh! Thanks for sharing, great read 😉


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