August 11, 2017 in Category Scarlett Life...

White Kings

A gang seems to have formed round by ours over the last couple of months. And I say ‘gang’ in the loosest sense of the word.

What I really mean is that the group of ketwigs on scramblers** have taken a break from doing wheelies outside the chippy and spitting on the floor, to grafitti “WHITE KINGS” onto everything that can’t walk off.

Yesterday, I was bringing my dog back from a walk when I noticed a piece of white bread, torn into the shape of a W, stuck to my wall with butter. Which is completely normal.

Thinking about it logically it could have just been a kid walking past my house, bored of his butty, so decided to tear it into a perfect W and stick it to the nearest wall.

funny scouse blog

But thanks to undiagnosed adult ADD and anxiety issues my first thought wasn’t the logical one, but naturally more along the lines of “holy jesus fuck the White Kings are putting gang signs on my house.”

I told my dad about the situation the other day when he rang to update me on his life – which is something he’s taken to doing ever since he asked me how to block people on Facebook, then blocked me right in front of my face. “Maybe they’re trying to get you to join?” he suggested before I hung up on him, “*muffled laughter* yeno, saying they want a slice of you.”

Anyway, just in case it is some sort of gang marker, I’ve scraped it off the wall. I’m lying, actually, my dog ate it off while I was trying to take a Snap Chat. Same difference.

Until next time… x

**For those of you outside of Liverpool, a “ketwig” is a god-awful haircut donned by the youth of Merseyside that makes them look like a cross between Harry Enfield’s “Scousers” and a mountain goat. The name comes from the idea that the money they save on haircuts can be used, much more sensibly; on ketamine.

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