November 10, 2011 in Category Girl Stuff,If You Ask Me,Scarlett View...

Sex Toys And Sharing…

For years women managed to keep their sexuality pretty low key…

Of course there have always been exceptions, but the women of generations gone by were perfectly happy letting men believe their girls nights were spent chatting about oven cleaners and exchanging recipes.

Then, of course Carrie Bradshaw hit the scene and exposed us for what were really are; just as dirty sexually driven as men.

More so, in some cases.

But there was a reason Sex and The city hit our TV screens, there was a social outcry for it. A change had been developing ever since the 70’s and women demanded some sort of media outlet for ‘girl talk’.

We’ve all heard of the shower-room talk that men have, (which as far as I’ve heard is usually little more than “so, did you bang her?” “Yeah Lad”) well there’s no difference, except us girls prefer to share over a glass of wine, sometimes giving advice, usually laughing.

Men seem to think that girl-talk means us laughing at them, or comparing penis size, which I can assure you lads, very rarely happens.

Instead we laugh at ourselves and share stories of sexual escapades that were unusual or downright embarrassing.

But when does girl talk simply become over-sharing?

A couple of weeks ago I found myself in the ‘dress up’ section of Ann Summers… I won’t get into why, that’s a story for another time.

Anyway, just as I was reluctantly holding a horribly cliched ‘naughty secretary’ outfit against myself, one of the sales girls tapped me on the shoulder, sending me soaring 3 foot in the air with fright.

Quite obviously she had caught me off guard; the naughty nurse area of a sex shop is the last place you want to get into small talk with a stranger – especially when you’re holding a bag full of penis shaped straws as a gift for your friend and a bottle of chocolate body paint for… well just because it was on sale.

Clearly sensing she had the home-field advantage she used my awkwardness against me, and within moments I had somehow agreed to host an Ann Summers for ten of my friends that Friday evening.

Within ten minutes of arriving home I had cancelled… but why did the idea freak me out so much?

I love girl-talk as much as the next person, but there’s something that unsettles me about inviting my friends to my flat to buy their sex toys… which of course you have to do, because no-one wants to leave the girl standing in the centre of a room full of strangers, not selling a thing*.

I’m more than happy to listen to any of my friends’ sexual misdemeanors that may have cropped up – in fact that type of conversation is something I encourage after half a glass of wine. I’m even open to hearing a fabulous review of a new sexual position or toy… but I draw the line at witnessing my friends carefully selecting their dildos, or remote control, vibrating panties depending on their poison.

Nor do I want my friends to be there when I lay my sexual cards on the table.

So when it comes to sharing, how much is too much?

*If you ask me, it’s never a good idea to drink and buy either; I learnt that after returning home with a lycra dress made entirely out of sequins that would be ‘perfect for Christmas day’ after a particularly festive lunch.

12 comments… read them below or add one

I Hart Travel November 11, 2011 at 1:38 pm

Have you seen ‘Bridesmaids?’ If so, the scene near the opening of the film where she is talking about her rendezvous the night before… do women really get that detailed when you talk about sex?


Jen November 11, 2011 at 2:25 pm

Fidel, would it upset you if I said yes?x


Erik November 12, 2011 at 11:06 pm

I got a good laugh out of this.

It seems nothing is ‘too much’ for this generation of young people in America.

Oh, and guys locker room talk is 10% truth, 45% exaggeration, 45% outright lies. Still makes it funny to listen to.


Jen November 13, 2011 at 4:20 pm

Lol I love the statistics Erik x


Monica November 13, 2011 at 11:38 pm

Hehe, this made me laugh, and it is so true. Having a laugh and gossip with your girlfriends is one thing…watching them select their sex toys is a completely different level of friendship!


Jen November 14, 2011 at 10:40 am

Exactly Monica, and especially if they were into something really weird – it has the potential to end friendships xx


plantdotty November 15, 2011 at 12:39 am

I had a really sqidgy moment when a mate asked me to get her a vibrator for xmas…and one with hidden extras that I won t go into here…..eeeekkkkk….


Jen November 15, 2011 at 1:46 pm

I’m always intereste din hearing about hidden extras Plantdotty, do tell x


Carola November 17, 2011 at 5:16 pm

Love it! My friends and I have pretty spiceful conversations surrounding our sex life; this is always a good laugh and unwinding topic.


Jen November 17, 2011 at 5:19 pm

That’s what we love Carola x


Jeff November 28, 2011 at 5:13 pm

–> “We’ve all heard of the shower-room talk that men have, (which as far as I’ve heard is usually little more than “so, did you bang her?” “Yeah Lad”)”

That about sums it up. That, and “man she’s got a nice rack”. LOL


Jen November 28, 2011 at 5:17 pm

Lol Jeff – I knew it! x


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